On Tuesday I got a call from DJ's school.
When I heard the secretary's voice, my heart skipped a beat. It always does - when the school calls. But especially now since I have neglected one task that I have been meaning to do for almost 2 months. Long story short, DJ's medical alert bracelet broke awhile ago and I have been meaning to mail it in for a replacement. But I keep forgetting to measure DJ's wrist. So, I sent a note to the school outlining the emergency alert number along with DJ's client number, just in case they need to phone. Almost EVERY day I think of mailing it out for repair - and I just do not get around to it...my bad.
So, you can imagine how I felt when I found out DJ had been hurt in the playground.
DJ pinched his fingers in the play yard while gardening. My heart skipped a beat and I experienced a wave of panic. This was the first time DJ ever was injured while away form home, while on his own, while without a parent or grandparent near by.
I was assured that they did not think the fingers were broken and that DJ wanted to return to class. So, they gave him ice and allowed him to return. The call was just procedure when first aid has to be given.
The school called back about 40 minutes later to tell me that DJ now wanted to come home.
I loaded the other two kiddies into the van and rushed off to get DJ. Poor little Bug.
I get to the office and he is sitting in what appears to be an enormous chair - it must have been 10 feet tall - he seemed so little, so dwarfed in the big chair. Clutching his baggy of ice. Swinging his legs. He was not crying, but you could see faint tear lines down his face.
I asked my little CooCooBear how he was - "that's good" (his normal, really adorable way of saying I am OK) and he mustered a little smile.
His two fingers were very bruised. The nails were a very strange purple with little blood blisters along the nail. His injury must have hurt like a bugger.
I asked if his fingers hurt really badly - "No Mommy, it does not hurt very badly."
I hugged my brave little man and he then continued - "Mommy, it hurts very good. My fingers are doing a very good job of hurting".
Oh my! Tears came into my eyes. I hugged him tight.
I asked if he was ready to go home. He replied yes. I told him I was very proud of him since he tried to stay at school, but that it was OK to come home since he got hurt. - "Mommy, I wanted to go back to my class and play with my friends. But my fingers were hurting me very good and I did not want to cry in front of Samaya. She is so nice and I told her my fingers did not hurt. But they were hurting me and making me want to cry. I can cry at home and you can hug me."
I hugged my little man and told him that it is ok to cry if he is hurt - at home, at school or with Mommy or Daddy or with his friends. - "But Mommy, Samaya is a Sr. Bunny and I really like her and I want to be brave. And I wanted you to make it all better."
And with that statement he broke down in tears and collapsed into my arms. His mother's arms. I held him tight and kissed the top of his little head. All while hoping I really could make it all feel better.
What an amazing mothering moment. I realized how wonderful my bond is with my little guy. He trusted in my nurturing and healing ways, not only to show the physical pain he was feeling but, also to share how he felt about the his friend. I am his Mommy. I can make him feel better. I can make the hurt go away. I can. I am. His. Mother.
I can only wish, hope and pray that I can always be there for my children. I can only wish, hope and pray that I can make it all feel better - especially the pains that hurt really good - physical and emotional. Now. Always.
Or at least till the teenage years...
PS - Thank you everyone for sending my good friend Sue bloggy-love and support. She now is waiting for the results of her biopsy...we all are...and I will keep you posted, as long as you promise to keep her, and her left boob, in your thoughts and prayers.