Monday, October 27, 2008

Reset Button

My face is swollen. Sore. Throbbing.

My nerves are shot.

My head is pounding.

The sun is shining and my kids are in the play room watching the Cars movie and destroying the room.

I am resetting my Google Reader.

I am going to reset, and start all over tomorrow.

I am pushing the reset button.

See you all soon, when I feel better.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Sunday Scrappin' Fun With Great Grandpa

Click HERE for more Sunday Scrappin' entries.

This is a great site to get ideas and inspiration for all your scrapbooking and paper crafts. Check it out!

I have a whole bunch of Ta-Das to share.

My husband's grandfather came to visit for a week. Yep. The kids' great grandfather came to hang out on the Fringe. He lives clear across the country, so we do not get to see him that often.

He is a wonderful, active, smart, fun-loving man. It was a wonderful trip. So, to make a keepsake of his visit, every night I would slip away and digitally scrapbook our day. I took pictures of us golfing, going hiking, picking pumpkins, going to the museum and even relaxing and watching a movie.

I printed each page to fit a 8.5 X 11 page at home and simply got them bond with a coil-band at Staples. It turned out pretty good, if I do say so myself. Then, I took the entire book, re-wrote some of the journalling to be personal for each of my kids and printed off smaller 4X6 copies.

Now everyone has a special memento of the wonderful week we had.

Here are the pages I created:

Thanks for looking!

Friday, October 24, 2008

Wisdom is over rated!

Me at 7:30 this morning.

Looking all relaxed, wise and almost 30 pounds lighter!

3:20 PM : Swollen, sore and bloody and no new baby.

Surgery ran into a few complications - I guess I had a massive nose bleed while on the table. It is never a good thing when the doctor says, "Wow, you look like you got hit by a bus - I will get the nurse to clean you up! And thanks, for making me make my pay today - the two teeth on the right were a challenge. Be sure to ice. "

Off to rest and ice.

Thanks for all the well wishes.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Open Wide

A conversation with my almost 5 year old son:

Mommy, do you have to go to the hospital tomorrow for your operation?

Yep. Just for the day. I will only be gone a few hours.

Are you having an operation on your knee like Daddy?

Nope, on my teeth.

Are you going to have an operation on your shoulder like Grandpa?

No DJ, Mommy has to get 4 teeth pulled out and her other teeth repaired.

Are they going to yank your teeth out Mommy?

Well, kind of, the dentist will be careful and pull out my wisdom teeth that are way in the back of my mouth.

And a baby too?

Um. Pardon???!!!????

A baby. Every time you go to the hospital you come home with a baby. I would like a baby brother for Madigan, please. I have a baby brother and she should have one too.

Buddy, I do not think Mommy will be coming home with a baby tomorrow...a toothache and numb face, but no baby.

Oh...that's too bad.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

A Lot on My Mind

I have a lot on my mind. I have been "on program" for 7 weeks and "on product" for 42 days.

Things are going very well. For the most part. Yes, for the most part, they are going very well.

This week I lost a whopping 5 pounds. This makes my total weight loss since September 9th to be 27 pounds!


But, I still have lots on my mind.

Last night at my weekly weigh-in and doctor's appointment I discussed some of the mental and emotional issues I have recently been experiencing. We discussed body image, pride, self control, realistic weight goals and how much of a mental-battle the weight loss journey can be for anyone.

Last week I struggled. You could read it on my blog, see it on my face, and sense it every time I made a meal for my family.

And what I realized, is that I will always struggle in this area. Most people do. The trick is harvesting that negative energy - those negative thoughts - and turning it into determination, pride, strength and endurance to keep committed to a healthy lifestyle.

Weight loss is a mental game.

You need to stay focused, committed and positive. There will be challenges, but with the right attitude and support system, you can make the right choices and you can conquer the mental challenges you face.

I saw a TV show one evening where a female, dressed only in her underwear, was placed in front of a line of similarly dressed women. The body sizes and weights ranged from lower than the "contestant" to higher. Her challenge was to place herself in the line.

WOW. What a social experiment. Every single time the "contestant" would miss-judge her weight and size and place herself multiple spots away from where she actually fit in the line. Every. Single. Time. EVERY SINGLE TIME without fail, she perceived herself as bigger and heavier than she really was, compared to the others.

What does that say about body image?


I am most definitely sure that if placed in this challenge I would do the same.

Now, after loosing 27 pounds I am struggling with this body image issue on two fronts. (As if one front was not enough!)

I see myself in photos or in the mirror, and I see myself as HUGE, enormous, FAT.

I am sure I would put myself way out of order in that line of naked women! This frustrates me.

Then I remember I have already lost 27 pounds. That is amazing. Something to be proud of, for sure. I think of how much better I feel - how I have more energy, less mood swings, and how I am more active and happy. Then, I feel good. I feel great. I feel awesome. I feel pride...then I get a glimpse of myself in the mirror - and the battle begins again. Why? Because based on how I feel, I think I should look even better, skinnier. I then have to battle those mental-weight-loss-demons. Re-focus. Re-commit. Re-affirm.

The name of the game is DECISION. COMMITMENT. SUCCESS.

Yes, the numbers matter - the scale numbers, the number of healthy choices made, the amount of exercise completed, the tape measure ticks, and the calories eaten. But weight-loss is also a mental challenge - so, how you feel about yourself and how you feel mentally, physically and emotionally matter just the same, if not more.

Yes. I have a lot on my mind.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Perfectly Imperfect!

DJ's heart is very different than a normal - ordinary - run-of-the-mill - heart. He has a very special heart. An ordinary heart is illustrated on the left, and DJ's special heart is on the right of the diagram below. You can read more about DJ's unique medical condition here, and here, and here.

DJ had his annual heart tests today. He was such a trooper. The ultrasound, EKG and ECG went very well. All 5 of his heart abnormalities are either growing with him - that is what we want - or even improving. This is such wonderful news. DJ is currently sporting a heart monitor halter for 24 hours - or, as he calls it, his Heart Robot.

In the waiting room with Great Grandpa.
Getting ready for the cold goo!
Wired for sound.

A boy, his robot, and a perfectly imperfect heart!

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Today and Tomorrow

It has been exactly 30 days since I last ate real food. I have been doing great - feeling great. I had no problems leaving food and following my medically-supervised 4 shakes a day plan. It has felt like a "vacation from food". I do not have to worry about food prep. I do not have to measure portion sizes. I do not have to count calories. Mix. Shake. Drink.

For the first 30 days I had very few food cravings. I did not face any difficult challenges. It has been easy.

Today has been tough. Thirty days and 120 shakes into the program and I have finally hit a mental challenge.

Up until now, it has been a wonderful experience. I have been able to recognize old, destructive behaviours and have been forming new rules, regulations and lifestyle changes to implement when I "go off product".

Over the first 30 days I was able to loose weight, increase my exercise and keep motivated. I have learned so much in my group sessions, personal sessions and on my own. I have been succeeding in my weight loss journey.

Today is different.

Today, I am tired. Today, I am sore (low back/hip). Today, I wondered what food would taste like. Today, I thought perhaps some junk food would lift my spirits. Today, I was tempted by every bit of food I have prepared for the family. Today, everything smelt so delicious. Today, my 22 pound weight loss did not matter. Today, I battled my inner-cravings.

Today, I was challenged.

Today, I won.

Tomorrow, I will be better off than I was today.

Tomorrow, I will realize my strength, commitment and desire to succeed.

Tomorrow, I will have yet one more "fasting-experience" that will help me cope with food temptations.

Tomorrow, I will win again.


I am being smothered by a state of melancholy.

Late this evening David's Grandfather arrives from British Columbia. We are all very excited and looking forward to a wonderful, fun-filled visit. The boys are beside themselves with excitement.

Great Grandpa is a wonderful man - I love him dearly, and I am so happy he is healthy and active enough to travel across the country. He and my hubby have a very special relationship. It really touches my heart. Both are hard-working, practical, heart-on-your-sleeve type of guys. When I went to meet David's family I felt a wonderful, instant connection between David's Grandpa and I. Heck, I even got hooked on golf because of him and hubby!

Grandpa, Me and hubby playing golf in Qualicum Beach

The boys absolutely adore their Great Grandpa. They love calling him and are thrilled he is coming to visit. Each boy has a list a mile long of things they want to do with him - I am sure the poor man will be worn out (but extremely happy) when he get on the plane to head home!

DJ and Ander helping Great Grandpa

So why am I being smothered by a state of melancholy?

I miss my Grandparents. I miss the special relationship I had with all four of them. I wonder what they would think of my life. I wonder what type of relationship they would each have with my children.

My children are very blessed to have all 4 Grandparents, and until recently 3/8 Great Grandparents. And for that I am happy.

4 generations of David's in our family!

Funny how I can be so excited and happy about a visit -and at the same time feel sad, lonely and reminiscent.

Grama, Papa, Meme, Pepe --- I miss you all so very much.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

A work in Progress - Wednesday Weigh In

As many of you know, I trying to "loose the fringe". I have been on a weight loss program since the beginning of September - and I am happy to report that it is going great.

I am in the process of rediscovering myself, taking time to take care of myself and I am making many lifestyle changes. So, as my body, self-image and entire world starts to change, improve, and morph into something great - I figured I would also re-vamp The Fringe.

It is all a work in progress...but I hope you like the new look! I am no HTML guru! Instead I used my scrapbooking software to create the new banner and then plunked it into a template. (Santa, if I am on your good list this year, a certificate to have a professional blog-transformation would be a sweet idea!!!)

Let me know what you think or if you have any suggestions on how to improve The Fringe!

Speaking of a new look - I promised myself that when I hit 25 pounds in weight loss I would pamper myself with a nice new hair cut and colour. Well, I am not quite at 25 pounds - but will be very shortly!!!! Ya for me! My weight loss this week was just over 3.5 pounds.

I am thinking of getting a fairly same-type of cut I currently have, but going a rich chestnut brown with amazing highlights and fun streaks. Your thoughts?!?!?!?

This week was also Canadian Thanksgiving...and I still stuck to program and did not cheat. No turkey, stuffing, beans, squash, sweet potatoes or pumpkin cheesecake sireee Bob! I prepared all these wonderful eats for my loved ones, but did not eat any of it! Not even a taste while cooking or baking. I am so proud of myself! I did my 4 Optifast shakes a day - that is it - that is all. I never felt like cheating or sneaking a bite.

And even though I did not celebrate Thanksgiving with food - I celebrated it with my wonderful family - I could not be more thankful of the love and support they all give me.

Well - that is it for this Wednesday Weigh In day!

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Tasty and Plump!

Happy (Canadian) Thanksgiving!

Click on the turkey!

PS. Thanks for stopping by the Fringe. I am thankful for all the wonderful bloggy-friends I have made over the last year!

Friday, October 10, 2008

A sure sign of Autumn

"Look Mommy! That tree is almost naked!"

- Anderson, 3.5 years old

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Thank you!

Sending a BIG thank you to all my bloggy-friends.

Your comments, suggestions, support and friendship mean the world to me!

Thank you.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

I Know

I know I am being a bit bull headed.

I know I am thinking-crazy thoughts.

I know I am a bit loony in my perspective.

I know I am overly emotional.

I know that I am working out every day - 20 minute Turbo Jam or 30 Day Shed Workout or Turbo Sculpt.

I know muscle weighs more than fat.

I know that the week of my period could impact my weekly weight loss patterns.

I know that I have not cheated once on my liquid diet - 4 shakes a day for 21 days - only 900 calories a day.

I know that I have increased my walking and routinely hit over 10K steps a day.

I know that I am feeling stronger, leaner and fitter.

I know my clothes are fitting different - fitting better.

I know that weight loss is a slow process - took me years to put on this extra weight - may take as long to loose it all.

I know that I am sleeping better, feeling better and have more energy.

I know that I use to over eat and snack way too much and my portions were out of control.

I know that I have identified many of my old, bad habits and I vow to eliminate them all.

I know that people are commenting on how good I look - I loved how Suzanne kept commenting on my "new" dimples and bigger smile.

I know that my hubby is so proud of me - and even a bit in awe at how well I am handing this liquid diet thing.

I know that I will succeed on this program.

I know that smile in my latest photo says so much about how proud, happy and committed I am to this weight loss program and lifestyle change.

I know that I have lost 18.5 pounds since September 5, 2008 due to hard work, determination and sticking to my program.

I know that a 2 pound loss this week is commendable...really, I do.

I just do not know why I am so disappointed this week.

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Sunday Srappin

Click HERE for more Sunday Scrappin' entries.

This is a great site to get ideas and inspiration for all your scrapbooking and paper crafts. Check it out!

It has been a long time since I sat down and completed a few scrapbooking pages. I am the furthest behind as I have ever been!

So, I made the time to attend a crop day. I worked very hard and completed most of the missing pages of for my 2007 family book. I am pretty excited to share a few of the pages I completed!

This is the front page of my family album. I placed two photos of the kids taken in Feb 2007 and in Dec 2007, as well as a family shot from Dec 2007 and a quote about the importance of family. It is very simple, but I think it shows how much the kids have grown in the year!

This page is chuck-full of photos I took in June. I wanted to use a layout that allowed me to put lots of photos - I think this one works. I love the photo of Mags in her sun glasses. I also like photos of each of the kids in the swings.

This page took much thought, lots of tears and was created with love and respect. My uncle lost his battle to cancer last June. This page is a tribute to him.

For David's birthday the kids (with the help from my parents) put on a circus act. It was so cute! I had to do a fun circus tent theme to show off their great acts. I did the tent free-hand...I think it turned out really nice!

I love Madigan's facial expressions in each of these photos: a bit surprised, interested, then pleased! Yummy Good!

Thanks for looking! I now just have 2 pages to complete for the Family 2007 book. In Madigan's First Year Book I am in August - so, I hope to finish that this month...and then try to catch up and complete 2008 - and in no time, I will have to start 2009!

Friday, October 3, 2008

Fun Friday

The morning started off on a bit of a sour note. I thought a friend and I had agreed on setting Friday mornings as play dates. I am all about routine and regular activities. I was all excited - for the last 18 months I had been feeling badly that we had not made a huge effort to get together, since our girls are exactly the same age. Anyways, when I emailed her to confirm the plans and to inform her it was a PD day for my boys, she informed me that she was meeting up with another mutual friend for a play date...she later called - maybe feeing bad - and invited us to join them at a local museum. I politely declined - I did not feel like roaming the museum...and, well, I was a little ticked. (If my friend had said, "hey, so-and-so would also like to meet up with us", I would have been totally for it...)

So, based on the lovely fall weather, and our need for a physical activity we decided to head to a local hiking trail and bring along a picnic. What is so much fun about this trail is that the chick-a-dees will come land in your hand to take birdseed.

Well, the pictures speak for themselves! We had so much fun! It was so lovely outside - the air brisk, the leaves falling, the birds chirping, the kids running, laughing and squealing. It was a fun Friday for sure!

What a fun Friday we had after all...could not beat it!
As I type this Anderson and Madigan are snoring away and DJ is playing quietly - all three of them walked the whole trail! Wonder if they will get their second wind in time for the the family swim night????????