This morning...

This morning I am tired, cranky and having "period problems".

This morning I eyed up all the donuts and danishes at the coffee shop.

This morning I did not cave in.

Today, I will stay on program.

This week I will be successful at the scale.

To worry a little less...

Can you believe it is now October? WOW! Time is flying.

I cannot believe that DJ has completed the first month of grade one! Honestly, I had been worried - oh, I wasn't worried he could not do it or that he would struggle - I knew deep down that he would do great! But, just the same, I worried.

I worried he would tire through the long, full day.

- He does come home a little tired, but seems to have adjusted to the full day quite easily.

Still, I worry.

I worried he would not like his teachers.

- Not only does he adore them all, but so do I!!!!

Still, I worry.

I was worried he would join the gang of trouble makers (they were identified in Junior Kindergarten...and well, they sure had an impact on DJ).

- Yes, he still considers one little (trouble-maker) boy his "best friend", but the teacher keeps the "4-Musketeers" separated and DJ is making new friends.

Still, I worry.

I was worried that he would struggle with the work load.

- Yes, DJ is a bit challenged with writing and fine-motor skills, but he is continually improving and not only have we, but also his teachers have seen a huge improvement. He has brought home more work and art in the last 15 school days than he did in ALL of J-K and S-K!!!!

Still, I worry.

I was worried DJ would be alone at recess.

Nope, he tells me wonderful stories of the fun he had during second recess with an ever-growing collection of names. First recess? Well, he has joined the school track team! The grade 3-6 track team practices every day, and well, my little grade 1 is the most eager of them all. The coach contacted me and is very supportive of DJ practicing with the team. In fact, I have registered him into a race in 2 weeks! He loves it!

Still, I worry.

Every Friday DJ comes home with his weekly portfolio. It is filled with work sheets, art work, exercises and notes. Every Friday I carefully examine each piece with great pride.

Still, I worry.

Then, this afternoon, I found this piece of work.

A smile came upon my face, from ear-to-ear.

A tear gathered in my eye and ran down my cheek.

My heart swelled with love, pride and wonder.

And I decided to try and worry a little less...

ME to WIN

Have you signed up yet for

Amy's 15 week Challenge????

NO???!!!!????

What the heck are you waiting for?????

Crap, if you sign up, then YOU could WIN

some of the awesome PRIZES

she has lined up...and well,

you are not ME, and well, um,

I want ME to WIN!

WW - Put me in coach, I wanna play!

What is Wordless Wednesday without a few words??!!!?!?!?!?!?

Last night was my first league game of the summer season.

Nothing could wipe the smile off my face!

Last year I almost quit the sport I love - but after an off-season of eating properly, taking care of myself and getting fit - I am ready to have fun again!

Last night was very rewarding, inspiring and motivating.
I have lost 81 pounds so far - only 19 pounds more to go!
I can do this. I will do this. I want to do this.
Yep, I am a contender in this weight loss game - and I am going to win!!!!

Put me in coach, I wanna play!

Oh! Ya, an extra bonus is that we won our soccer game last night!!!

Gunna give it a TRI

Tomorrow is the BIG day!

My first EVER triathlon!

OK - let's take a moment and think about this!

On August 17, 2009, I went to my doctor and complained that my weight was out of control. I told him I had just had the WORST summer soccer season of my life and just walking up two flights of stairs was starting to become a struggle.

Now, on May 16, 2009, I am going to attempt a triathlon. The course is 100m swim, 11.5km bike and 2km run. It is actually called a "Try a Tri". I am so excited! What a complete turn around! I am now fit, active and ready to celebrate my 82 pound weight loss by pushing myself and proving to myself that I AM WORTH IT! I am nervous, anxious and a bit scared...but hey, that's what it is all about!

Wish me luck!!!

Fitness Friday - Prep for fun!

OK! My race is tomorrow morning at 9:15am. It is a nice route along Colonel By Drive (and Rideau Canal) from Pretoria Bridge to the Bronson Bridge and back. It is calling for a nice 3 degrees Celsius with cloudy skies. I think it will be nice running conditions.

Here are a few photos of the area where the race is being held:

I am taking it easy today. I have had a long, tiring week and need to rest up for what is for sure going to be a great weekend.

Here is a list of things I need to get organized for tomorrow morning:

- Pick up race kit

- Attach shamrocks to my running pants and coat as part of my costume (!?!?!)

- Drink lots of water

- Place out all my running gear

- Bake my shamrock cheesecake and chocolate chip cookies (2 batches of each!)

- Buy a new blade for my straight cutter

- Organize and pack all my photos

- Pack up all the ingredients to make the most fabulous scrambled egg breakfast ever!

- Get all my scrapbooking materials packed up and into the car

- Place my parent's house key on my key ring

- Pack my over night bag

- Pack my soccer gear for my game on Sunday afternoon

It is incredible all the things you need to do before running a 5k race!!!

Oh! Did I mention that, after my big race, 4 of the most wonderful ladies are meeting me at my parent's house about 45km away (away from work, hubby and the kids) for a girls' scrapbooking weekend! The funny part is growing up I NEVER disobeyed my parents and hosted a party in their absence!!! No, I think I did it right....no teenage party will ever out do a kidless, free, scrapbooking weekend away!!!!

Oh ya! No matter how I feel during or after my race, no matter my finishing time, no matter the weather, no matter what, this is going to be a great weekend!!!! (If I survive it!!!)

In honour of this bound-to-be-great weekend, I present to you birthday gift ideas # 29 and # 28:

29) I would soooo love a long sleeve running shirt that would be perfect for Ottawa spring weather. Something like this:

28) And as I move forward with my transition from strictly traditional scrapbooking to a hybrid form of mixing traditional and digital scrapbooking, I would totally appreciate a year membership to Heritage Makers. The extremely lovely Kristen from Mighty Morphin' Mama is a consultant and introduced me to her product line - it totally rocks and I think it would be a super cool addition to my scrapbooking tool set. Not only does the Heritage Makers' annual membership make my list of 40 gifts for my 40th birthday, but Oprah named it one of her favorite things too!!!! (Go check it out! Then, after you fall in love with it you can order one membership for me, and then treat yourself too!)

Wish me luck for my big debut race...Irish luck that is!!!!

Have a wonderful and great weekend...I know I will for sure!!!!

Wordless Wednesday - Ya! Me!

This was pretty much my reaction when I heard this news at my weight management class:

I am sooooo happy, proud and motivated. I actually have about another 30 pounds to loose, but in 10 pounds I will hit the main goal I set at the beginning of my weight management program.

Now that I am done transition and eating a full menu plan, my goal is to loose 10-30 pounds through healthy eating, increased fitness activities and portion control. My objective is to loose 1-3 pounds a week for the next 10 weeks and then to re-evaluate my ultimate desired weight!

Ya! Me!

(Thank you to everyone for your wonderful support!)

Bashert

For 2009 I am not making a new years resolution, per say... instead, I am committing to my bashert.

(Warning: This post is a bit all-over-the-place, please bear with me...in the end, it may make sense...it just might!)

My heart goes out to each and every person who has lost a loved one at war.

I am not going to jump onto a soapbox and start preaching my political views on war, but I am going to say that each and every time a young soldier makes the ultimate sacrifice my heart saddens, my resolve in the human spirit lessens, and I am left wondering why?
Canada has lost 106 soldiers since our Mission in Afghanistan started.

One hundred and six.

There is a stretch of highway between Toronto and CFB Trenton that has become known as The Highway of Heroes.

The bodies of our fallen soldiers must drive this route. What started as a impromptu tribute has become a very touching and sad last tribute to show our support for the grieving families, our military and our country. Hundreds of people gather on two overpasses to honour the fallen soldier. They wave flags, shed tears and pay their respects.



This video really sums it all for me.

When the death count hit 96 I started to really contemplate making the 5 hour drive to stand at attention the next time a fallen soldier returned home. I started to feel like it was something I really had to do...a calling of sort.

The month of December has been a month of terrible loss for Canada.

I sadly realized, that logistically, I could not follow my calling and pay tribute on the Highway of Heroes.

So, with the start of the new year, I started to mull over new year's resolutions. Most revolved around around continuing my weight loss journey, staying committed to my fitness plan and achieving results.

But the thought of making the trek to pay homage to a fallen soldier kept jumping to mind.

So, I decided to set realistic, attainable goals that would incorporate both my fitness goals and my new burning desire to show my respect for those placing their lives in danger.

Let me explain.

Remember this post about my last running experience? Go ahead, go read it, it is kind-of amusing!

Ok. Welcome back. So, you can now understand why I do not wish to attempt another 5km run. But now that I have lost 57.5 pounds I have rediscovered the joy of running. I have been roughly following The Running Room program and am averaging about 3-6km two or three times a week.

Now, I am a competitive person and I thrive with challenge. Through Facebook I have connected with my friend Leah - and her Facebook status keeps listing runs and triathlons - what a great way to keep motivated, active and accountable. She is so inspiring...and her invilvement in community races got me thinking...

So I did a bit of research looking into local race days and training clinics, and I have come up with what I think is a great plan. So, here is what I resolve to do this year:

1. Train for the St Paddy's Day 10K Race - my goal is to run 5KM and walk 5KM.

2. Participate in the National Capital Race Weekend 10K Race - my goal is to better my time from the St. Paddy's Day race - and I hope to run more than walk!

3. Sign up for The Running Room's Half Marathon Clinic - to join the program you have to be able to run 10km doing a run 10min/walk1min pattern

4. Complete the Army Run Half Marathon on September 20,2009. I simply want to start the race and then cross the finish line. Just doing it will be my goal. And what makes this run doubly special is that 1) I am showing my support to the Canadian Armed Forces and 2) It will be exactly one year since I started my weight loss journey. What an awesome combination! When I saw the race date and the cause it all made sense to me!

I really think these goals are realistic, attainable and will allow me to keep true to the new me.

I am really excited about my plan and I am going to work hard to keep committed and focused - and realistic, meaning, I may re-evaluate each goal as I go.

My friend Ilana says I am not making new years resolutions or goals, but fulfilling my bashert. And, considering how nicely it all works into my game plan, I think I would have to agree!

So, what is your bashert?

Fitness Friday - Week 2

Right now I am focusing on 3 key things in regards to my fitness and workout routine:

1. Accumulate
2. Consistency
3. Variety

By "accumulate" I am referring to finding ways to incorporate more physical activity into my daily life. Do not get me wrong, looking after 3 kiddies all day keeps me on my toes - but I am trying to increase my activity during daily chores or activities. Every bit helps - so, why take the easy way out when you can work out!?!?!?!?

Some of the things I am doing include taking the stairs at work and walking more. I work on the fourth floor and park two floors underground - so, each day I am doing between 8-12 sets of stairs (I am spooked to climb the 4 flights at 4AM in my old building!) I am also trying to spread my household tasks - for example, instead of taking the laundry, frozen food for dinner and whatever else I can carry in one trip, I make it into two or three trips.

They say that taking 10K steps a day is an indicator that you are leading a fairly active lifestyle. I am trying to hit that mark every day - and that is not counting my running or walking activities.

In terms of consistency, I am trying to work out every day. I am trying to make it a habit. I have even gone so far as to marking it on our family calender. An extra bonus is that David sees my activity plan is able to encourage me and to ensure he is home to relieve me from my "family duties" so I can get some exercise.

Right now, I am doing my activity at dinner time, since I am not eating food. I am a bit worried this will cause a problem when I do transition back to regular meals I can share with the family. But I am sure David and I will work it all out.

Getting up at 3AM, working, coming home, caring for the kids and daily life can get stressful, and more and more I am looking forward to that me time at 630PM. Plus, I am crawling into bed feeling good about my workout.

Variety is also important. I do not want to get bored with my workout routine. Also, I want to make it more of a social event too - me time with friends - could it get better than that??? I have one good friend I have started jogging with, one good friend I meet up with at boot camp and another good friend I join for a weekly walk. Plus I have my indoor soccer team.

Another aspect of variety is the fact that I try to get both cardio and weight training into my routine. I was a bit disheartened to learn last weigh-in that I have actually lost a pound of lean muscle mass. Weight training will ensure I loose fat mass and not lean muscle. I am therefore increasing my weight training.

So, here is my weekly fitness log. I have had a great workout week. And have a few aches and pains to prove it!

Monday - Started a weekly run date with my friend Jo. We are loosely following The Running Room Program. We walked a minute and ran a minute for 3.8KM. Add this to the fact I walked to our meeting place, which is 1.7 KM from my house!


Tuesday - Turbo Jam Workout Video - I love the beat!


Wednesday - Boot Camp - This week we did a circuit of __ stations, the time spent at each station varied, but it averaged between 2-4 minutes - the instructor pushed everyone until we were all doing out station properly!

1. 3 laps warm up run that includes a long ramp and a long set of stairs
2. Power Squats
3. Sit Ups - legs at 90 degree on wall and sit up bringing a weighted ball up over your head and as high as you could go to the wall
4. Push Ups
5. Triceps with hand weights
6. Side Power Kicks with deep lunge - KILLERS!
7. Flutter kicks
8. Shoulder presses with weights
9. REPEAT!!!!!
10. DIE and CRAWL home!

Thursday - Regular walk with my friend Dawn We chat and walk at a fairly good pace. I want to clock out our regular route, but I would guess it is just over 8KM.


Friday - I bought a set of resistance bands and plan on doing an upper body workout


Saturday - not much exercise planned, but I will walk to my French Class - about a 3km round trip and I always take the stairs to my 4th floor classroom.


Sunday - Soccer game - I am hoping we have fewer subs and I can get lots of playing time. After the game I have been challenging myself with a light jog around the dome. This is week 3 and I hope to make it 3 laps!

So, that is my weekly commitment to leading an active lifestyle. How about you? Any suggestions or ideas you can share with me to help me along?

Next Friday I will write about commitment and goal setting - and I have a surprise!!!

Also - look for a new Friday Fitness section and a Menu Monday section - coming soon!

Hey! Have you voted for me yet??? I have been nominated for BEST BLOG and BEST FAMILY BLOG for the Canadian Blogging Awards - today is the last day to vote!

Finally - only 2 more posts till I succeed at the NaBloPoMo challenge!!

Long Day Lessons

Today has been a long day - literally, it has been a long day.

3:02 AM - Woke up
3:55 - Arrived at work
4:00 - 8:00 - Worked regular hours
8:30 - 11:30 - Played with Madigan, folded laundry, packed for all three kiddies, ran 3 errands with Madigan
11:40 - Met boys' bus
12:30 - 1:30 Hit McD's drive through for kiddies and drove to Kemptville
1:30 - 3:00 - Had a nice visit with my parents
3:00 - 4:00 - Hit the dollar store in Kemptville for party favours - BINGO! Lucked out and got everything I needed!
4:00 - 4:45 - Drove back to Ottawa
5:00 - 5:30 - Caught up on my blog reading and commenting
5:30 - 7:00 - Relaxed in a warm bath
7:00 - 8:30 - Wink, wink, nudge, nudge --- no kids at home, you can figure out how hubby and I spent our time!!!!! (blush, blush)
8:30 - 10:30 - Napped in the arms of my wonderful man
11:00 PM - Arrived at work to do an extra shift
11:00 PM - 1:30 AM - Monitored National news and completed assigned tasks as requested by the Office of the Prime Minister of Canada
2:00 AM - Arrived home

Now, I hope to sleep as I have my French course at 9AM for 3 LONG hours...

...did I mention it was a long day?

And worst of all - I keep thinking of food! I am so tired and all I want is to snack. Mindless snacking. But I am committed to my weight loss program. But I cannot stop thinking of food! Junk food, comfort food.

I am actually a bit depressed over all this craving sweets and junk food. I am scared that once I am transitioned back to food, I may fall into my old habits. That is not acceptable. I cannot go back to my old ways. I have learned coping strategies. I have worked hard to loose 42+ pounds. Why forfeit all that?

Some days I think I have come a long way in changing my way of thinking of food...and then I have a day like today.

While I am optimistic that I am learning and changing and committing to a healthy lifestyle moving forward - I have now realized food will always be an issue for me. And I will have to be strong, committed and secure in my decisions not to let food control me any more.

I did not break program - even though this has been a long day - and even though in the past I would have snacked on chocolate bars, chips, cola and other terrible food choices - I did not.

I learned an invaluable lesson during my long day.

Good Night! Sleep and Eat well my friends.

Friday Fitness - Investing in You

OHMommy over at Classychaos got me thinking.

Wednesday she wrote a post about Investing in You. Now, Oh Mommy is no ordinary blogger...she is super-duper, beyond belief cool, all inspiring, high-heel-boot-dancing sexy-mama.

Her posts are always informative, thought-provoking, funny and filled with love for her wonderful family. I look forward to her posts and I know you will like them too.

On Wednesday she posted a cool photo of the results of her 12 week boot camp sessions and she ended with the following line:

"It has been a while since I invested in myself, my mental well being, and my physical health. It feels good.I encourage you to invest in yourself too. It is so easy to lose track of yourself, especially as a mother constantly putting yourself before your children. But, if Mama ain't happy no one is happy. Right?"

OHMommy, you could not be any more right. I became a victim of this phenomena of loosing myself while becoming a mother. I became obesely overweight, tired, lazy and sad. I was not happy, and it was starting to show in my patience and parenting style.

But I took action - I had to take action.

I am super proud of my 42 pound weight loss in the last 11 weeks. I have worked hard. I have stuck to my doctor-monitored plan. I have committed. I have succeeded. But I still have a long way to go. I have embraced a new, healthy lifestyle and will continue to invest in me.

As I have been shedding the pounds I have been very committed to increasing the frequency, duration and intensity of my exercise program. I thought perhaps I would start a weekly post called Friday Fitness. This will help me monitor, celebrate and brag about my progress - but it will also become a forum for me to discuss issues, set-backs and challenges.

Here is how I have invested in myself this week:

Monday - Interval running/walking - I am loosely following The Running Room Program and am at 3 min running and 1 minute walking times 5.

Tuesday - Instead of driving for an errand, I jogged (and walked) the 4 KM route.

Wednesday - Boot Camp at Community Centre Gym - My awesome friends Heidi and Dawn are also enduring this pain with me! Awesome motivator to go spend time with my great friends! Man, was it a good workout - the instructor indicated we burned around 500 calories.

Thursday - 90 minute walk with my wonderful friend Dawn (Plus, I spent over an hour racking the leaves in the front yard!)

Friday - Turbo Jam Workout Video - this program ROCKS!

Saturday - I am planning on walking to my French class and hope to go for an interval run with my hubby (oh, I have missed doing that - it has been 5 years!)

Sunday - I have my second indoor soccer game and plan on running my butt off - and scoring a goal!

OK. The wonderfully classy OhMommy asked it of her readers, and now, I ask it of my readers: what are you doing to invest in you?

Oh, OhMommy has a amazing give-away on her blog. GO check it out if you like - but please note that the draw is fixed, and I am going to win these AMAZING Sexy snowbunny" boots from YOU by crocs. ($220 us value). So, basically, there is really no point of you going HERE to have a chance of winning.

Lost: One Preschooler - Wordless Wednesday

This photo was taken on April 1, 2007.

This photo is certainly not a great photo - poor lighting, unattractive background, no special moment caught on film ... so why choose it for Wordless Wednesday?

In this photo DJ weighs 40.5 pounds and Anderson weighs 36 pounds, Madigan weighs just over 14 pounds and me, well, I weigh way too much.

Again you ask, so why choose it for Wordless Wednesday?

Well, last night at weigh-in I was down another 3.5 pounds - taking my total weight loss since September to be 37 pounds.

So, basically, I have lost a preschooler!

So, if you have a toddler hanging around, pick him or her up.

Awkward? Heavy? A nuisance? A burden?

Well, that is what I use to carry around all the time...now, it is gone - forever.

Yep, I have lost a preschooler!

Ya me!

Weighty Issues and Lessons

Ok - today I am answering a few of the questions many of my wonderful bloggy-friends have been asking about my weight loss program.


Let me start off by saying that a liquid diet is not meant for everyone. Talk to your doctor, investigate your options, and then make an informed decision. Education is power!


1) Why did you decide to try a liquid diet?


A few months back I would have never guessed that I would even ponder a full liquid diet, let alone stuck to one! I remember in university, when I was a varsity athlete & in great shape, my roommates did Slimfast. I rolled my eyes at them!!!


I have always been active, especially with playing soccer. Last summer, I was not happy. I felt HUGE, slow, and ashamed of my body, and of my play. So, back in June I started talking to my doctor about options. We discussed exercise programs and dieting. I started different self-paced plans, but nothing was really coming together and I was getting more and more upset. I was trying to watch what I ate, exercising - but not loosing weight. I needed help.

My doctor suggested the program offered at our local hospital. Neither of us knew very much about it - so we started investigating. For the program you had to have over 50 pounds to loose.

After the application process I just knew this program was what I needed. It was extreme - but I felt I needed an extreme solution. I also began to see the benefits (for me) to move to a liquid diet and then have a controlled re-introduction to food. I also liked that this program had mandatory group and individual meetings and support from a range of professionals.



2) How does the program work?


You can get lots more info HERE.


Basically, you go onto a liquid only diet for 6 or 12 weeks, and then have a gradual re-introduction to food. You also have a series of routine medical tests including heart tests and blood work done to monitor your health. Weekly group meetings are mandatory for the first 26 weeks, then you move to a less structured follow-up plan. You also meet with a program doctor each week and have individual sessions with other health care professionals like dietitians, physical therapists and personal trainers.


This is how my plan is set up - it does varies from person to person. During the first week of the program I restricted my diet to 1200 calories of "normal" food. Then for 12 weeks I have 4 shakes a day - for a daily caloric intake of 900 calories. Then I will start to re-introduce real food. You gradually reduce the number of shakes you have each day and replace it with strict real-food options. For example, the first week of transition you have 3 shakes a day plus 1 cup of veggies and 1 serving of protein. When I get to transition I promise to write more...well, I will NEED to write more to get my head around it all!



3) What is the name of the shakes? Do they taste good? What flavours?


The actual product is called OPTIFAST and it is made by Nestle. In Canada it is actually a prescription. The Canadian program only offers 2 flavours of shake powders: chocolate and vanilla. You can use low calorie, or no-calorie extracts to flavour if you like -

but I have decided to keep things simple.

I usually have 2 chocolate shakes a day, one vanilla shake a day and I also usually mix one vanilla shake with cold coffee once a day. I do not mind the taste. I did worry about how it would taste - but they are OK. You can adjust the amount of water used to change the consistency of the shake.


Some people use blenders, but I am lazy and use the hand shaker they gave us.

You have up to 20 calories to play with - many people use this as up to 1/4 cup of skim milk for their coffees, or to drink a cup of broth. I actually use the broth option to replace my salts if I have an extreme workout or soccer game where I sweat lots. It is actually quite refreshing and satisfying - can you friggin' believe I just wrote that about broth!?!?!?

The shake is perfectly balanced to meet all your nutrient needs. The goal is to provide your body with just enough calories to function and to get into a light state of ketosis. In ketosis your body is releasing ketones, which means you are burning stored fat. In ketosis you do not feel hungry - for real!!! I have found that I am not as moody or tired as before - my body has the fuel it needs and no junk in it. I am no longer artificially boosting my sugar levels to compensate. I actually feel GREAT!

4) Do you miss food? Do you have any cravings?


There are times when I miss food - or more specifically chewing a variety of tastes. But, I am kind of liking the simplicity of the shakes. It is like a vacation from food. It is easy and instead of dwelling on the food I am missing, I think of what I am doing to take control and what I am learning.


The shakes are sweet - so I sometimes crave salty or some of the ethnic flavours I love. But, again, I try to stay focused and think to myself that right now, no food will taste as good as I am going to feel lighter and healthier. I have also discovered a bunch of decaf/herbal teas that give me a variety of flavours.

What I miss most is dinner time with my family. I have decided not to participate in the dinner hour - for personal reasons I decided I did not want my 3 young children to see me not eating. So, I make the meal, serve it and then escape - I either go for a walk, go to soccer, to the gym or go blog. Therefore, I do not miss food, but the social and family-bonding that takes place during food-related activities.


5) What have you learned so far?


Oh, I have learned so much about my old eating habits, old insecurities, and about the relationship I had with food. I have also learned a series of coping techniques and strategies for keeping the weight off. Look over to the right sidebar - I am starting a little list!


I am amazed at a few things:

• how little FUEL the body needs to work efficiently


• how easily other emotions can be mistaken for hunger


• how good I feel when I am not eating crap


• how much I use to eat BEFORE I ate - taste testing while cooking, snacking and stealing from the kids


• how I need accountability and I will ALWAYS need to watch my weight and work hard at maintaining a healthy weight, and


• how much I deserve to be happy, healthy, active, and to feel beautiful, inside and out.

Our weekly meetings cover a whole series of topics including portion controls, journalling, coping strategies, exercise programs, label reading and food preparation, and creating support systems.

I like how the behaviour specialist tells us that not everyone has will power - but you can have skill power to make the the right, informed, healthy decisions needed to succeed.

Another HUGE lesson I am learning each and every day is what foods I do not need. This is a bit of a strange concept to explain. Before, I believed totally in the "everything in moderation" theory. But I am plagued with the "all or nothing" mentality too...a deadly combination! I still believe in moderation, but my attitude has changed a bit. For example, it is OK to have a chocolate bar - but now I need to ask myself, do I REALLY want that chocolate bar. I really think my food choices will change. At the end of the 12 weeks I will have made it through multiple stresses, challenges and cravings without junk food or comfort food. Therefore, why do I need those bad food choices to help cope with life situations??? So, I have learned that there are foods just not worth having and that the high they gave me or the comfort they gave me was artificial. I now have new and better coping mechanisms.

I have learned so much...and have lots more to learn!

6) What is your weight goal?

Believe it or not, but my main goal is not number-oriented. Instead, I want to be healthy and fit. I want to have fun playing my soccer, be competitive in my soccer leagues, feel good about myself and enjoy being active with my family.

But in terms of pure numbers - my initial goal was to loose 10% of my body weight - I did that at week 7. Now I am working towards getting below 200 pounds. At the end of the 26 weeks I hope to have lost at least 50 pounds - then I will re-evaluate. I am never going to be 102 pounds - but I may decide to start maintaining a healthy, active 175 pounds. The program doctors have told me that 170-180 would be a good goal for me.

Realistically, results on this program can vary - but many people loose 10% of their starting weight by week 6 and then loose 5-10% again by week 12. Most people have an increase during transition, but then by monitoring their diet and following an exercise program they begin to loose again.

Well, this post is getting very long! I think the bottom line for me is that this program is working. It is a tough one - a strict one, and an extreme one - but the benefits, lessons learned and the successes I have had to date make it all worth it.

As you have read in previous posts, there have been challenges. But in the end, I know that I will meet my goals and I will be successful in maintaining a healthy weight and lifestyle. Failure is not an option. My love of life, my love for my wonderful husband and my amazing kids outweigh any struggle or challenge I may face.

Thank you all for your support.

For now, I will keep shaking, and keep loosing and learning and rediscovering myself.

Keep the questions and comments coming!

Weighing in with Questions and Answers

Yesterday I thought I was simply posting about my menu planning for the week. Nothing too exciting - in my humble opinion...then the comments and emails started to come in. WOW.


The amount of support and encouragement that I am recieving from all my bloggy-friends is over whelming. Please - KEEP IT COMING - I need your support and encouragement. I so appreciate your comments and cheers. It is all helping me keep focased and motivated.


Yesterday also sparked a few questions. My inbox began to overflow with question marks! Everything from, "why did you decide on a liquid diet" to "what do the shakes taste like" to " do you have any cravings and how do you control them?".


One comment left yesterday by the wonderful, lovely and ever-brilliant blogger Mrs. Incredible at That's Life v 2.0 really made me stop and think.

"I find it interesting how you are able to detach yourself from the food prep. That is a good skill to have, but I am sure it is not easy.I am also wondering if you have specific cravings, or do you try to not think about that. I am a little afraid to even ask the question, because I don't want to derail your progress. But, I was thinking that with all those shakes you might be wanting something not as sweet. I hope this was not a bad question to ask. I think you are doing awesome and I like hearing about how you are changing your relationship with food. I think that even for people who don't have a lot of weight to lose, examining how we view food in our lives can be valuable."

I am a very open and honest person, and I like sharing my thoughts and opinions. By being open and writing about my weight loss journey I hope to be an example for others - liquid diets are not for everyone - but healthy lifestyles and choices are for everyone. I never thought I would be inspirational for anyone embarking on a improving their lifestyle choices, but maybe I can be just that...maybe I can use my blog to document my own journey, track my progress, keep myself motivated, while sharing my newly acquired knowledge and information and helping others make better lifestyle choises and lead healtheir lives.

So, I now open the floor to you - my lovely readers - ask me anything - well, almost anything - about my Weight Loss Program, commitment or plans. Over the next few weeks I will start answering them to the best of my ability.

I am no expert - just a fat girl working hard to loose the fringe, get control, and rediscovering the person I want to be - all while blogging and doing a liquid diet!

Ask away!

A Lot on My Mind

I have a lot on my mind. I have been "on program" for 7 weeks and "on product" for 42 days.

Things are going very well. For the most part. Yes, for the most part, they are going very well.

This week I lost a whopping 5 pounds. This makes my total weight loss since September 9th to be 27 pounds!

AMAZING. WONDERFUL.

But, I still have lots on my mind.

Last night at my weekly weigh-in and doctor's appointment I discussed some of the mental and emotional issues I have recently been experiencing. We discussed body image, pride, self control, realistic weight goals and how much of a mental-battle the weight loss journey can be for anyone.

Last week I struggled. You could read it on my blog, see it on my face, and sense it every time I made a meal for my family.

And what I realized, is that I will always struggle in this area. Most people do. The trick is harvesting that negative energy - those negative thoughts - and turning it into determination, pride, strength and endurance to keep committed to a healthy lifestyle.

Weight loss is a mental game.

You need to stay focused, committed and positive. There will be challenges, but with the right attitude and support system, you can make the right choices and you can conquer the mental challenges you face.

I saw a TV show one evening where a female, dressed only in her underwear, was placed in front of a line of similarly dressed women. The body sizes and weights ranged from lower than the "contestant" to higher. Her challenge was to place herself in the line.

WOW. What a social experiment. Every single time the "contestant" would miss-judge her weight and size and place herself multiple spots away from where she actually fit in the line. Every. Single. Time. EVERY SINGLE TIME without fail, she perceived herself as bigger and heavier than she really was, compared to the others.

What does that say about body image?

WOW.

I am most definitely sure that if placed in this challenge I would do the same.

Now, after loosing 27 pounds I am struggling with this body image issue on two fronts. (As if one front was not enough!)

I see myself in photos or in the mirror, and I see myself as HUGE, enormous, FAT.

I am sure I would put myself way out of order in that line of naked women! This frustrates me.

Then I remember I have already lost 27 pounds. That is amazing. Something to be proud of, for sure. I think of how much better I feel - how I have more energy, less mood swings, and how I am more active and happy. Then, I feel good. I feel great. I feel awesome. I feel pride...then I get a glimpse of myself in the mirror - and the battle begins again. Why? Because based on how I feel, I think I should look even better, skinnier. I then have to battle those mental-weight-loss-demons. Re-focus. Re-commit. Re-affirm.

The name of the game is DECISION. COMMITMENT. SUCCESS.

Yes, the numbers matter - the scale numbers, the number of healthy choices made, the amount of exercise completed, the tape measure ticks, and the calories eaten. But weight-loss is also a mental challenge - so, how you feel about yourself and how you feel mentally, physically and emotionally matter just the same, if not more.

Yes. I have a lot on my mind.

GREAT in EIGHT

I have never really been one for new year's resolutions, but I think I need to make a short, realistic list to help me be GREAT in EIGHT!

Firstly, I want to be the best mom I can be...I am not really sure what that all entails, but I am up for the challenge.
- I promise to take care of myself, so that I can take care of my wonderful family.
- I resolve to never skimp on hugs and kisses - but at the same time, be a bit more strict and set better limits for my kiddies.
- I resolve to make quality time for each child, a special mommy-and-me time to smother each of my darlings with the love and attention they deserve - but at the same time, allow each of my children the space to explore, grow and learn on their own.

Secondly, I want to loose weight, get control of my food intake and work out more. I want to find that body I had before I had 3 kids in 38 months!
- I promise to cut my portions, but at the same time, allow myself a treat every now and again.
- I resolve to get more active, but at the same time, get more sleep - even if it means missing a late night soccer game! (I go back to work in a few weeks and waking up at 3:10 AM is going to be tough!)
- I promise to write down everything I eat during the day, but at the same time, I will not beat myself up if I slip and eat inappropriate items OCCASIONALLY!

Thirdly, I want to continue to scrapbook and blog. These are wonderful releases for me and I love doing them!
- I hope to take a photo every day to document and preserve my wonderful memories, but at the same time, I promise to be less camera shy so that my kids have some photos of their mom!
- I hope to blog daily fun, loony happenings on the fringe, but at the same time, I hope to explore deeper my own self and my own feelings, beliefs and desires.
- I resolve to learn my new digital scrapbooking software, but at the same time, I promise to keep my traditional books up to date.

And while doing all this, and keeping up with daily life, I promise to never take for granted my wonderful life - I am so lucky to have such a wonderful life filled with such wonderful people!

Two-thousand and eight, will indeed, be great!

What are your resolutions?