Update!

Rattle Me Bones 10K

PB - 1:01:06

October 25, 2009.

But, apparently

My mom is battling stage three throat cancer.

She just completed round one of her radiation and chemotherapy.

During the last 7 weeks I have felt a bit inadequate: I am struggling with how best to offer my love, support and help during this challenging, difficult, scary time.

I want to do more than I am doing for her - she means the world to me!

But,

I am not a nurse, caregiver, nutritionist or orderly.

I am not a scientist, pharmacist, or medical engineer.

I am not technician, radiologist, nor am I a doctor, or an oncologist.

But, apparently,

I am beginning to fancy myself a runner.

Tomorrow, I am running in the Ottawa Hospital 10k RATTLE ME BONES race.

(and though it is not much, it makes me feel like I can help in my mother's care.)

Wish me luck!

(Thank you Ottawa Hospital for taking such great care of my mom!)

HEY MOM, Love you - Hate cancer!

Ready! Set! Go Gobble Gobble!

A few weeks into the school year I got a phone call from DJ's school. Apparently, every second nutrition break he was hanging out with a bunch of grade 3-6 students. DJ would race out of the Grade 1 door and head over to the far corner of the track. The grade 5 teacher called to tell me of DJ's fascination with this crowd.

Apparently, every day, DJ has been leaving his peers and joining in the grade3-6 track team practices.

The coach told me that he does not want to discourage DJr, but that he wanted to make sure my future track star understood he was too young to participate in the upcoming track team competition.

That afternoon, I sat DJ down and asked him about his track aspirations.

He was so cute. At first he thought he was in trouble. Then, I think I figured he was going to be banned from the team practices.

He smiled innocently at me and simply said he liked running with the big kids. It was good exercise and making him strong and healthy.

I congratulated him on his commitment and hard work. Then I gently explained how he could not compete with the school team...not yet.

He smiled. Nodded in agreement. Gave me a big hug and said, " That's ok mommy. I do not run for them. I run for me, cause I like it...and um, I run for you."

"You run for mommy?"

"Well mommy, I like it when you race and I want to race like you. But really, I just want to run with you when I get big and when I get better at running. Mommy, you go to your running class to learn to run - and I go to the running team to learn to run and maybe one day we can run together. I would really like that. Mommy, running makes you happy and running makes me happy and I like being happy with you!"

WOW. WHAM!

It really hit me how my transformation from being overweight, inactive and unhealthy has impacted my children.

My children see how I now take time for myself, and that physical exercise, working out, and taking care of myself makes me happy. Heck, it makes me happy, content, proud and at peace.

They see the benefits to leading an active lifestyle. Both the physical ones, and the emotional ones.

I am committed to keeping up with my new routines of working out, eating properly and taking care of myself. I am committed to being a positive role model for my three children.

So, this past weekend we all ran together. We entered the The Fall Colours Thanksgiving Day Turkey Trot race.

And everything about it made me happy.

Pre-race photo!

Ready....Set....Go!

And we are off!!!!

I love this photo of the boys! DJ's facial expression is priceless!

DJ loved the experience. He was awesome!

Click HERE for more photos of DJ giving it his all!

Anderson was excited...and then got a little whiny ...but soon got his second win and finished on a high note!

Click HERE for more photos of Anderson.

Little Madigan ran the ENTIRE 1km on her own. She was so determined. When people cheered for her she would stop and clap! It was hilarious! This photo so captures her race with me loudly cheering her on every step of the race!

Her photos from the race are great! I love the one with her running and a man running behind her with his screaming child! Priceless! Click HERE to see all Madigan`s professional shots!

Here we are after the race. The kids were super proud of their t-shirts, their bibs and especially their medals.

I was just proud of them...and very thankful.

Happy be-lated thanksgiving to all my fellow Canadian bloggers!

I did it - a PB!!!

I did it!!!!!
A half marathon!!!!!!
2:19:21.6

My runners!

Left foot: Over 80 lbs gone!

Right foot: Only 21km to go!

Moments before lining up at the start line.

It was amazing. It was the Army Run - so, lots of soldiers, and brave, injured soldiers started the pack. Read THIS amazing story about a double amputee running this race!

I felt strong the entire race. I kept with my plan and never "lost it emotionally".

This wonderful cheering squad met me at 7km, 17km and at the finish line. Each time giving my encouragement and strength. My heart swelled with their yells of, "GO MOMMY GO!"

I finished very strong and felt great!

I had realistically figured I COULD finish in the 2:30s. I had privately hoped to finish in the 2:20s...and was ecstatic to clock 2:19:21.6!!! A Personal Best, you know, since it was the first time I ever ran a half!

We headed off to Chapters - the kids played with Thomas the Train and read books, and I enjoyed a nice coffee, and admired my dog-tag medal!!!!

(Believe it or not, yes, I was able to get up! AND, after running the half, I took the three kids to the local pool for some fun. We then went out for dinner...it was an amazing day!)

ME to WIN

Have you signed up yet for

Amy's 15 week Challenge????

NO???!!!!????

What the heck are you waiting for?????

Crap, if you sign up, then YOU could WIN

some of the awesome PRIZES

she has lined up...and well,

you are not ME, and well, um,

I want ME to WIN!

WW - Future Olympians!

For more Wordless Wednesday entries, go HERE.

Or if you prefer Wordful Wednesday, then, go HERE!

This week

This week has been long and tiring.

I started a post detailing my tri last week...but never completed or posted it.

I started a cute story about each of the kiddies...but never completed or posted it.

I started a heartfelt post about my weight loss journey and some of my current struggles...but never completed or posted it.

I started a post about my ambitious gardening adventure...but never completed or posted it.

I started a post about the wonderful wedding of two wonderful friends...but never completed or posted it.

I started a post on my first outdoor soccer game, the one where everyone sees the "new me" for the first time...but never completed or posted it.

I started a post on how much I hate my new work hours (3am-9am)...but never completed or posted it.

I started a post on how I now work a 7 hour shift on Saturdays, which now means by working early hours, six days a week, I am now working FULL time, BEFORE most people wake up - then I am home with the kiddies ALL DAY...but never completed or posted it.

I started a post on how I really need to catch up on the laundry and general household chores...but never completed or posted it.

Let's hope tomorrow, I start a post on how I STARTED and COMPLETED and SURVIVED a brilliant 10k race. Yep. Let's hope.

This week has been long and tiring.

I TRI'd my best!

Today,

I swam

biked,

and ran

away from old bad habits, emotional eating, over eating, poor lifestyle and

80 extra pounds...

...and I could not be more proud!

More details to follow!

Happy Victoria Day Weekend!

Gunna give it a TRI

Tomorrow is the BIG day!

My first EVER triathlon!

OK - let's take a moment and think about this!

On August 17, 2009, I went to my doctor and complained that my weight was out of control. I told him I had just had the WORST summer soccer season of my life and just walking up two flights of stairs was starting to become a struggle.

Now, on May 16, 2009, I am going to attempt a triathlon. The course is 100m swim, 11.5km bike and 2km run. It is actually called a "Try a Tri". I am so excited! What a complete turn around! I am now fit, active and ready to celebrate my 82 pound weight loss by pushing myself and proving to myself that I AM WORTH IT! I am nervous, anxious and a bit scared...but hey, that's what it is all about!

Wish me luck!!!

Mug Shots

Madigan - 2 years old

AKA: Princess Diva

Wanted for elaborate temper tantrums and excessive cuddles

Anderson - 4 years old

AKA - Pander-Bear

Wanted for multiple counts of huggies and kissies

DJ - 5 years old

AKA - Horsie Boy

Wanted for crimes of passion and compassion

Laura - 40 years old

AKA: Mom

Considered mentally unstable - a bit loony - delusional (thinks a road trip of approximately 4600 kilometres, clear across the country, to visit her in laws, with the above mention accomplices "might be fun".

Let the planning begin - our summer trip is only 85 days away!

Total Estimated Driving Time: 51 hours 11 minutes (ONE WAY!)

Total Estimated Distance: 4597.99 kilometers

I was so worried about the kids' passport photos. I took all three on my own to Costco to get them done. I have heard nightmares about kids smiling, blinking, etc. and it taking 10-40 shots to get a presentable and acceptable shot. Well, each of my darlings got the first take right...and then mine turned out so terrible, but I sure wasn't going to be the one having to retake the photo!!!!! Oh well - what can you do?!?!?!?!?!

A Sissy Fuddle Duddle!

You know you had a great weekend when you need a day to recover!!!!

Tuesday is the new Monday, don't cha know!

OK - Let's get Monday Menu Plan out of the way!

Monday - Yummy spicy shrimp stir fry with quinoa

Tuesday - broccoli and chicken casserole

Wednesday - Family Pizza Night

Thursday - Three Bean and Pork Slow Cooker Chili - recipe from Weight Watchers - sounds yummy good, easy, kid friendly and only 5 points per serving. Then I will have to factor in my homemade cheesy whole wheat garlic bread for dunking!

Friday - A wonderful friend and I are embarking on a regular Friday exercise date. Our families will eat together first and then head off to swimming laps in prep for our "Try-a-tri-athon" in May. I was thinking maybe I would do a pasta dish with a nice salad.

Saturday - Fire up the grill! Nicely aged steaks and lots of veggies cooked on the bbq...summer cooking is just around the corner!!!

Sunday - Pot roast with carrots, potatoes and onions - nothing too fancy.

Ok - so now for the weekend recap!

The smile on my face in this photo, sums it all up!!!

Friday I drove the kiddies to my parents' place. If you are a frequent visitor to The Fringe, you know how much they LOVE going to Nana and Pépé's house. But, here is yet another cute story that shows the very special bond my parents have with my kiddies.



Mid-way through our 40 minute drive little Madigan, all strapped in her car seat yells out:

Bye-bye Dadda!

Bye-bye house!

Bye-bye Keymew (our cat Cleo)

Helllllllllloooooooooo Nana!

Helllllllllloooooooooo Pépé!

Ok. Seriously, I almost burst a gut! Here is a little 2 year old, in a squeaky, high pitch voice bidding goodbye to one world and welcoming the new! Her HELLO was hilarious - all drawn out and a bit deeper than her regular voice. It was priceless!

Anyways - Friday night friends came over - the plan was for the gals to go swim lanes (prep for "Try-a-tri-athon" and then meet the boys for Pho soup. Comedy of errors, we misread the lane times...so quick change of plans - we went for dinner first and then swimming.

Side note - I need to work on my breathing technique in the front crawl. I am sure I could shave some time off if I got a bit more rhythm in my breathing and stroke.

We had a great Friday evening. We always have a great time with Stephen (the best-man at our wedding) and his wonderful girlfriend Danielle (Hello Danielle, since I now know you visit The Fringe! Yep. Friday sounds great - check your email!)

Saturday AM we woke up early and took off for Mont Tremblant, Quebec. It is about 2 hours away. It was an enjoyable drive. Spring is in the air!

The mountain was very busy - perfect spring ski conditions bring lots of people out! If you ever get a chance to visit this first-class resort - I highly recommend it!

We skied all day. I will not lie - I had a rough time. I really only started to ski when I met David - back in 2000. Then since all my babes are winter babies, my ability, desire and time for skiing dropped in priority. So, I was getting a bit frustrated. I could not seem to get my old rhythm back. I was really fighting my skies and forcing the tails of my skies instead of carving with my edges. On top of that, my middle toe on my right foot was SUPER sore. (I would later discover that when my soccer opponent stepped on my foot last week she cracked my nail and it swelled up) And my feet hurt in my boots. My boots are from the before kids era and my feet are bigger, flatter and more sensitive now. And finally, I was having a fear thing - totally mental! I am not sure what it was, but I was so nervous of falling. Maybe it had to do with Natasha Richardson succumbing to injuries suffered on this very hill? Or maybe I was just nervous? I was having trouble finding my centre of gravity and therefore did not feel stable...could it be from my rapid weight loss? My body has definitely changed! Whatever the case, the first two runs were terrible.

In fact, I almost gave up. But my wonderful hubby talked me out of it. We stuck to fairly easy hills. David got to do a few bump-runs since Windigo and Upper Fuddle Duddle were mainly moguls. I stuck with Sissy Schuss and Fuddle Duddle...oh ya! I do see the irony of the run names and my state of mind - but, hey! thanks for pointing that out!!!!!!!!

After lunch, I calmed down a bit and was able to find some of my skiing mojo. So, our afternoon was a bit more enjoyable. Besides, it was sunny, warm and I was with the man of my dreams!

A good friend of ours offered us her chalet for the evening (Thanks Jo!). It was great. We went and got cleaned up and headed back to the mountain for dinner and to enjoy the night life. It was great. We had a great dinner - I had yummy trout with veggies, and even was successful at NOT having any of the fresh dinner rolls that kept appearing at our table!

After dinner we strolled around the cute shops and then took in the aerial competitions. Man, they were amazing! Friggin' dare devils to the highest degree!

We returned to the chalet and well, "enjoyed each others company"....wink wink nudge nudge.

It was a wonderful weekend for sure.

We drove back to Ottawa. Picked up the kiddies - one of them very ill with the stomach flu (sorry Mom, but thank you for looking after the barfy-sick kid!). So, it was right back to the grind!!!!

So, how was your weekend?????

PS - I am cheating and keeping the Tuesday date stamp...even though it is now Wednesday morning...now I have the barfy tummy and Madigan is crabby...oh joy! This is going to be a l--o--n--g week...or maybe I am just being a big sissy fuddle duddle?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Fitness Friday - Prep for fun!

OK! My race is tomorrow morning at 9:15am. It is a nice route along Colonel By Drive (and Rideau Canal) from Pretoria Bridge to the Bronson Bridge and back. It is calling for a nice 3 degrees Celsius with cloudy skies. I think it will be nice running conditions.

Here are a few photos of the area where the race is being held:

I am taking it easy today. I have had a long, tiring week and need to rest up for what is for sure going to be a great weekend.

Here is a list of things I need to get organized for tomorrow morning:

- Pick up race kit

- Attach shamrocks to my running pants and coat as part of my costume (!?!?!)

- Drink lots of water

- Place out all my running gear

- Bake my shamrock cheesecake and chocolate chip cookies (2 batches of each!)

- Buy a new blade for my straight cutter

- Organize and pack all my photos

- Pack up all the ingredients to make the most fabulous scrambled egg breakfast ever!

- Get all my scrapbooking materials packed up and into the car

- Place my parent's house key on my key ring

- Pack my over night bag

- Pack my soccer gear for my game on Sunday afternoon

It is incredible all the things you need to do before running a 5k race!!!

Oh! Did I mention that, after my big race, 4 of the most wonderful ladies are meeting me at my parent's house about 45km away (away from work, hubby and the kids) for a girls' scrapbooking weekend! The funny part is growing up I NEVER disobeyed my parents and hosted a party in their absence!!! No, I think I did it right....no teenage party will ever out do a kidless, free, scrapbooking weekend away!!!!

Oh ya! No matter how I feel during or after my race, no matter my finishing time, no matter the weather, no matter what, this is going to be a great weekend!!!! (If I survive it!!!)

In honour of this bound-to-be-great weekend, I present to you birthday gift ideas # 29 and # 28:

29) I would soooo love a long sleeve running shirt that would be perfect for Ottawa spring weather. Something like this:

28) And as I move forward with my transition from strictly traditional scrapbooking to a hybrid form of mixing traditional and digital scrapbooking, I would totally appreciate a year membership to Heritage Makers. The extremely lovely Kristen from Mighty Morphin' Mama is a consultant and introduced me to her product line - it totally rocks and I think it would be a super cool addition to my scrapbooking tool set. Not only does the Heritage Makers' annual membership make my list of 40 gifts for my 40th birthday, but Oprah named it one of her favorite things too!!!! (Go check it out! Then, after you fall in love with it you can order one membership for me, and then treat yourself too!)

Wish me luck for my big debut race...Irish luck that is!!!!

Have a wonderful and great weekend...I know I will for sure!!!!

Tipping the Scales - and T Minus 38 days

This evening is my last "regular" Weight Management meeting. No more weekly hospital meetings. I now go into "self preservation mode". Instead of weekly group meetings and weekly doctor meetings, I will monthly doctor meetings and get to choose 6 sessions to attend in the next 6 months. 27 weeks have flown by! I still remember the apprehension I felt applying, committing and starting the program.

Initially, I thought the 12 weeks of of "no food" was going to be the hard part - but really, it was the transition and now, daily living. I NEVER want to go back to where I was - and I am so afraid of that happening. I do not want to be "that girl". You know, that poor girl who worked so hard to take off all the weight, only to put it all back on...and then some.

I have the potential to be that girl - and that scares me. But may, just maybe I can capitalize on that fear and keep focused and committed.

I have seen the results of weight loss. I feel great - I have so much more energy - I am see the benefits in all aspects of my life.

I am super proud of my commitment and hard work - and I still see areas I need to improve. I want to eat healthy. I want to live healthy. And, I think that desire will help me realize my ultimate weight loss goals and it will help me stay committed to this entire lifestyle change.

I hope it does...

I am sure there will be a strange feel in the meeting tonight. Most of us are not done our weight loss journey - and I think we all feel a bit nervous, anxious and tentative to be "on our own".

At the same time, I know that I am looking to define, follow and keep to a new lifestyle. I am confident that Weight Watchers will help me to get there and stay there.

My Weight Management Program with the liquid diet component taught m so much. I am walking out of the program with invaluable knowledge, acceptance and know-how. I am grateful to the program, and more specifically to the leaders - but my journey does not end, just because my program ends.

Thank you to everyone who has been following my journey. Thank you for your support. I hope that you will keep reading, commenting, inspiring, encouraging and cheering me on - I will never be able to properly express my gratitude.

OK - now, back to our Birthday Gift Count Down.

Drum Roll......at Number 38, my wish would be to get a little wave runner...a nice leisure and recreational vehicle.

This is the model I fell in love with at the Ottawa Boat Show this past weekend.

Anderson appreciated the fine steering and power of this fun-machine...

DJ could picture himself catching some rays and hitting some waves...

Madigan and Mommy were envisioning all the fun our entire family could have

enjoying this wonderful gift!!!

(and Daddy was salivating and drooling all over the place!!!)

Hee hee... no where in the rules does it say all 40 gifts have to be realistic...they can be the stuff dreams are made of!!!!

We're even, poolside grandpa!

Every Wednesday I take the kids to swimming lessons. The boys are in a class together and I am in a Parent and Tot class with Madigan.

With my recent weight loss, I was in desperate need of a new bathing suit. During our bi-weekly Costco shop I saw a great deal on suits. I hummed and hawed and finally decided on a nice, simple rust colour one piece. With no change rooms, I inquired about return policies and I was told no problem as long as liners and tags were still on the suit.

When I got home I tried on my new suit. It was a little revealing - but both my hubby and my mother agreed it was still acceptable for public swim lessons.

I wore the suit this week to swim lessons.

A few of the other moms commented on my new hair cut and my new swimsuit. And to them, I say: THANK YOU. Your kind words and encouragement really made my day. I still have more weight to loose, but every compliment and cheer of support keeps me motivated.

To the poolside grandpa I say: We are even! Ya old man, I saw you sitting waiting for the public swim to start after our classes. Ya, I saw you checking me...and my boobs out. Yep. I did. I saw you smirk at me and then remain in your chair even after the public swim buzzer sounded. Yep. You made me feel self conscience and a bit uncomfortable with your glare and smirk...but I would guess you felt even more self conscience and uncomfortable when you nonchalantly picked up your towel and laid it over your lap. So, grandpa, we are even - good for me for loosing 66.5 pounds and wearing a flattering swim suit...and, well, um.... good for you for still getting it up!

-------------------

While, it will be a few more pounds lost until I am brave enough to post a swimming suit photo - here is a recent photo. I am actually wearing pants I bought at value village for $4.99 - they are the smallest size I have worn in 6 years. Even better, I am wearing the jersey that I wore on my first ever date with hubby - 7 years ago. Back then I thought I looked good in it...and now, while it fits me a bit differently, I cannot begin to tell you how great it makes me feel!!!!

66.5 pounds lost - February 12, 2009

Successful Failure

My home-based business is officially a successful failure.

A couple of months ago I identified a business opportunity I thought I could capitalize on...and went about creating a marketing and business plan. Nothing too complicated, but I got all my ducks in order and quickly realized the potential.

Here was my starting premise:

After a long day at work do you wish you could send out a S.O.S for dinner?
Do you wish you could improve your diet by focusing on low calorie, low glycemic index foods?Are you on a tight budget and looking to stretch your food budget?
Do you wish you could provide your family with delicious, home cooked meals with wholesome ingredients?
Do you want out of the kitchen?

Introducing: Sensational Orders by Storrie - your dinner time S.O.S.

In only 2 weeks my delivers went from 3 meals 3 times a week to 10 meals 3 times a week. And the number kept going up. In my first three weeks I had to reject 5 prospects since I had no idea if the business would fly and I did not want to over-commit.

The idea was simple - make dinner for my family - following my new food and eating plan - and make a bit extra and sell it for profit.

I had figured my main clientele would be my fellow weight-loss patients. I was totally wrong! Yes, a few ordered weekly meals - but the bulk of my quick-start business was co-workers looking for either lunch or dinner alternatives. Then, through word of mouth of a neighbour, four families started ordering weekly meals for their elderly relatives in a local nursing home.

I became an over night success - and I was totally loving it! It was not much more work than preparing my own family meals - in essence I simply started buying in bulk and preparing double. I delivered fresh, wholesome, healthy meals Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. the menu usually included a chicken or turkey and a beef or pork and a fish dish. It was easy - and fun! I basically was putting into practice everything I had learned at my weight management program.

I enjoy cooking - and it was fun.

Was fun.

Was...fun. Was.

I quickly realized that yes, there was money to be made in this market segment. And, yes, I was making money. Good money. Some meals had a higher margin than others - but I was making a bit of money on every meal I sold. It was quickly apparent that if I grew the business just a little bit, then the margin would greatly increase, and the work load would increase a bit. The greatest impact would be the delivery, clean up and sanitizing of the re-usable dishes. An investment would be needed in the amount of containers required to grow the business. But I quickly realized the best profit margin was being about double the size I had originally thought to be acceptable.

I slowly expanded my client base and the fun continued. I saw great potential!

One of the main reasons I started the business was to help me remain focused on making and serving healthy, proper servings. Making meals for others forced me to plan ahead and organize healthy, creative, unique meals. It was great!

Very quickly I realized the major downfall of this business.

I wanted to ensure that the meals were tasty, and worth the money people were paying me. Without even realizing it old cooking and eating habits started to creep back into my routine. I started taste testing here. Taste testing there.

I became very frustrated, angry and disappointed in myself. How could I revert to old, negative habits? Why did I seem to have no control? Why did I insist on sabotage my wonderful weight loss success?

So, on one hand S.O.S was a great success. I identified a market - and boy, was (is) that market prime. This could have been a very productive and lucrative business.

Sadly, I cannot continue. I figure the only way to make this the success it can be is to grow larger - and by growing larger, I sacrifice more of my personal family time and I could sabotage my 64.5 pound weight loss.

So, my business S.O.S is a successful business - this week I have 18 paying customers - for an estimated profit of $87.00.

And, my business is a failure, and I am closing down shop.

If anyone is interested in a successful failure, please let me know - franchises licences are available!!!!

Full marketing and business plans available! Hardly used - just like new!

For your viewing pleasure - here are some of the meals I served over the last two months:

Apple and cinnamon stuffed pork with braised potatoes and veggies.

Three bean, veggie tofu chili with homemade whole wheat bread.

Moroccan spiced fish with wilted spinach and grilled veggies.

Lemon and ginger shrimp with jade rice and veggie stir fry.

Garlic and black pepper pot roast with carrots and cauliflower-mashed potatoes.

So, I guess I am a successful failure at a home business. Oh well - my priority is to keep loosing weight and leading a healthy lifestyle. I have no plans on becoming a personal chef or diet-planner! And now, I have no excuse for taste testing and no need to block off a few hours every other day to cook!

A successful failure...man, I am truly a oxymoron!!!!

Diagnosed OXYMORON

I am an OXYMORON.


I am a JUMBO SHRIMP!

(Didn't the great Paul Simon write a song about that? Oh, wait - that was a rock and an island! Well, maybe I am both of those too?!?!?!?)

I have self-diagnosed myself with a very serious newly named (by yours truly) medical condition called the JUMBO SHRIMP SYNDROME.

Now that I have a diagnosis, I am dealing with this condition a lot better. I am in some sort of remission.

For the last few weeks I have been a bit down, not as motivated as before, and a bit in a rut. I was constantly fighting the urge to hang up my running shoes. Look over at my side bar and you will even see a little blimp in my weight loss - for the first time since starting this process, I gained...a WHOLE half a pound. Unfortunately, with Jumbo Shrimp Syndrome, even a small, tiny, insignificant, water-retention, period-about-to-start, gain, can cause a spiral into the death grip of this illness.

Worst of all, I was hearing voices. Chocolate chip cookies that were stashed in the back of the pantry were calling my name; the chip aisle of the grocery store sent off a deafening roar of, " Come on over Laura, the snacking is good over here!" And extra helpings were begging me to put them out of their misery and finish them off.

And when I did exercise or dress in some of my new clothes (smallest sizes since 2003!) I was feeling sexy and skinny! Oh yes, I did. So much so, I went through the bottom drawer of my dresser - yes, the bottom drawer - the one with the lingerie and non-granny underwear.

Oh ya, baby! Alternating with the negative symptoms mentioned above, I started feeling great about myself. I started to really appreciate the change in my body. I started to like my new, healthy curves. I started feeling good about myself. I held my head up high as I exercised, I did not feel out of place at the gym, I did not compare my tickle-fight stance to that of a beached whale. I started to wear sexy underwear on weekdays and even slipped on a lacy number with the hope it would be torn off me (it was!). I started to think I was skinny.

These positive feelings of pride, self-worth and accomplishment would come crashing down with one look in the mirror. While I felt all skinny and great, one look in the mirror, and I would see a happy, yet, still over-weight gal. Insecurity and disappointment would quickly set in. And that would accentuate the negative symptoms of my condition. The happiness would vanish and I was left feeling fat, depressed and upset. When I really opened my eyes and looked at myself, I saw a Jumbo Shrimp.

Basically, inside, I felt all skinny and great, but the reflection in the mirror or the size on the clothing tag, or the annoying high pitch voice of the Wii fit/Madigan, would remind me that yes, I am still considered OBESE.

With tears in my eyes, I would here my inner voice say, "You're an OX, you MORON!"

An ox, you moron... an OXYMORON.

I have become a Jumbo Shrimp.

So, how does a treat Jumbo Shrimp Syndrome?

1. Focus on accomplishments thus far - I have lost 64.5 pounds - that is AMAZING. I need to take pride in that accomplishment.
2. Keep motivated - this is a process - I need to look at my weight loss as a journey and not dwell on a single step within this journey.
3. Journal - I admit it, my journalling has become a bit laxed, I need to document EVERYTHING I eat and drink. I need to be accountable.
4. Celebrate and anticipate - I need to celebrate my accomplishments (almost 65 pounds lost, in the smallest size of pants in years, ate a healthy, good choice breakfast...) and also anticipate new milestones (will soon run my first road race in 7 years, obtaining a 75 pound weight loss total is totally within reach, saying no to those voices each and every time they scream out to me...)
5. Realize this is not an over-night fix, but a new lifestyle. There will be ups and downs and plateaus...and breaking through and making one good decision at a time is the answer.

Yes, I am an OXYMORON and I suffer from Jumbo Shrimp Syndrome, but I will survive, thrive and be happy.

Fitness Friday - Week 2

Right now I am focusing on 3 key things in regards to my fitness and workout routine:

1. Accumulate
2. Consistency
3. Variety

By "accumulate" I am referring to finding ways to incorporate more physical activity into my daily life. Do not get me wrong, looking after 3 kiddies all day keeps me on my toes - but I am trying to increase my activity during daily chores or activities. Every bit helps - so, why take the easy way out when you can work out!?!?!?!?

Some of the things I am doing include taking the stairs at work and walking more. I work on the fourth floor and park two floors underground - so, each day I am doing between 8-12 sets of stairs (I am spooked to climb the 4 flights at 4AM in my old building!) I am also trying to spread my household tasks - for example, instead of taking the laundry, frozen food for dinner and whatever else I can carry in one trip, I make it into two or three trips.

They say that taking 10K steps a day is an indicator that you are leading a fairly active lifestyle. I am trying to hit that mark every day - and that is not counting my running or walking activities.

In terms of consistency, I am trying to work out every day. I am trying to make it a habit. I have even gone so far as to marking it on our family calender. An extra bonus is that David sees my activity plan is able to encourage me and to ensure he is home to relieve me from my "family duties" so I can get some exercise.

Right now, I am doing my activity at dinner time, since I am not eating food. I am a bit worried this will cause a problem when I do transition back to regular meals I can share with the family. But I am sure David and I will work it all out.

Getting up at 3AM, working, coming home, caring for the kids and daily life can get stressful, and more and more I am looking forward to that me time at 630PM. Plus, I am crawling into bed feeling good about my workout.

Variety is also important. I do not want to get bored with my workout routine. Also, I want to make it more of a social event too - me time with friends - could it get better than that??? I have one good friend I have started jogging with, one good friend I meet up with at boot camp and another good friend I join for a weekly walk. Plus I have my indoor soccer team.

Another aspect of variety is the fact that I try to get both cardio and weight training into my routine. I was a bit disheartened to learn last weigh-in that I have actually lost a pound of lean muscle mass. Weight training will ensure I loose fat mass and not lean muscle. I am therefore increasing my weight training.

So, here is my weekly fitness log. I have had a great workout week. And have a few aches and pains to prove it!

Monday - Started a weekly run date with my friend Jo. We are loosely following The Running Room Program. We walked a minute and ran a minute for 3.8KM. Add this to the fact I walked to our meeting place, which is 1.7 KM from my house!


Tuesday - Turbo Jam Workout Video - I love the beat!


Wednesday - Boot Camp - This week we did a circuit of __ stations, the time spent at each station varied, but it averaged between 2-4 minutes - the instructor pushed everyone until we were all doing out station properly!

1. 3 laps warm up run that includes a long ramp and a long set of stairs
2. Power Squats
3. Sit Ups - legs at 90 degree on wall and sit up bringing a weighted ball up over your head and as high as you could go to the wall
4. Push Ups
5. Triceps with hand weights
6. Side Power Kicks with deep lunge - KILLERS!
7. Flutter kicks
8. Shoulder presses with weights
9. REPEAT!!!!!
10. DIE and CRAWL home!

Thursday - Regular walk with my friend Dawn We chat and walk at a fairly good pace. I want to clock out our regular route, but I would guess it is just over 8KM.


Friday - I bought a set of resistance bands and plan on doing an upper body workout


Saturday - not much exercise planned, but I will walk to my French Class - about a 3km round trip and I always take the stairs to my 4th floor classroom.


Sunday - Soccer game - I am hoping we have fewer subs and I can get lots of playing time. After the game I have been challenging myself with a light jog around the dome. This is week 3 and I hope to make it 3 laps!

So, that is my weekly commitment to leading an active lifestyle. How about you? Any suggestions or ideas you can share with me to help me along?

Next Friday I will write about commitment and goal setting - and I have a surprise!!!

Also - look for a new Friday Fitness section and a Menu Monday section - coming soon!

Hey! Have you voted for me yet??? I have been nominated for BEST BLOG and BEST FAMILY BLOG for the Canadian Blogging Awards - today is the last day to vote!

Finally - only 2 more posts till I succeed at the NaBloPoMo challenge!!

Friday Fitness - Investing in You

OHMommy over at Classychaos got me thinking.

Wednesday she wrote a post about Investing in You. Now, Oh Mommy is no ordinary blogger...she is super-duper, beyond belief cool, all inspiring, high-heel-boot-dancing sexy-mama.

Her posts are always informative, thought-provoking, funny and filled with love for her wonderful family. I look forward to her posts and I know you will like them too.

On Wednesday she posted a cool photo of the results of her 12 week boot camp sessions and she ended with the following line:

"It has been a while since I invested in myself, my mental well being, and my physical health. It feels good.I encourage you to invest in yourself too. It is so easy to lose track of yourself, especially as a mother constantly putting yourself before your children. But, if Mama ain't happy no one is happy. Right?"

OHMommy, you could not be any more right. I became a victim of this phenomena of loosing myself while becoming a mother. I became obesely overweight, tired, lazy and sad. I was not happy, and it was starting to show in my patience and parenting style.

But I took action - I had to take action.

I am super proud of my 42 pound weight loss in the last 11 weeks. I have worked hard. I have stuck to my doctor-monitored plan. I have committed. I have succeeded. But I still have a long way to go. I have embraced a new, healthy lifestyle and will continue to invest in me.

As I have been shedding the pounds I have been very committed to increasing the frequency, duration and intensity of my exercise program. I thought perhaps I would start a weekly post called Friday Fitness. This will help me monitor, celebrate and brag about my progress - but it will also become a forum for me to discuss issues, set-backs and challenges.

Here is how I have invested in myself this week:

Monday - Interval running/walking - I am loosely following The Running Room Program and am at 3 min running and 1 minute walking times 5.

Tuesday - Instead of driving for an errand, I jogged (and walked) the 4 KM route.

Wednesday - Boot Camp at Community Centre Gym - My awesome friends Heidi and Dawn are also enduring this pain with me! Awesome motivator to go spend time with my great friends! Man, was it a good workout - the instructor indicated we burned around 500 calories.

Thursday - 90 minute walk with my wonderful friend Dawn (Plus, I spent over an hour racking the leaves in the front yard!)

Friday - Turbo Jam Workout Video - this program ROCKS!

Saturday - I am planning on walking to my French class and hope to go for an interval run with my hubby (oh, I have missed doing that - it has been 5 years!)

Sunday - I have my second indoor soccer game and plan on running my butt off - and scoring a goal!

OK. The wonderfully classy OhMommy asked it of her readers, and now, I ask it of my readers: what are you doing to invest in you?

Oh, OhMommy has a amazing give-away on her blog. GO check it out if you like - but please note that the draw is fixed, and I am going to win these AMAZING Sexy snowbunny" boots from YOU by crocs. ($220 us value). So, basically, there is really no point of you going HERE to have a chance of winning.

Weighty Issues and Lessons

Ok - today I am answering a few of the questions many of my wonderful bloggy-friends have been asking about my weight loss program.


Let me start off by saying that a liquid diet is not meant for everyone. Talk to your doctor, investigate your options, and then make an informed decision. Education is power!


1) Why did you decide to try a liquid diet?


A few months back I would have never guessed that I would even ponder a full liquid diet, let alone stuck to one! I remember in university, when I was a varsity athlete & in great shape, my roommates did Slimfast. I rolled my eyes at them!!!


I have always been active, especially with playing soccer. Last summer, I was not happy. I felt HUGE, slow, and ashamed of my body, and of my play. So, back in June I started talking to my doctor about options. We discussed exercise programs and dieting. I started different self-paced plans, but nothing was really coming together and I was getting more and more upset. I was trying to watch what I ate, exercising - but not loosing weight. I needed help.

My doctor suggested the program offered at our local hospital. Neither of us knew very much about it - so we started investigating. For the program you had to have over 50 pounds to loose.

After the application process I just knew this program was what I needed. It was extreme - but I felt I needed an extreme solution. I also began to see the benefits (for me) to move to a liquid diet and then have a controlled re-introduction to food. I also liked that this program had mandatory group and individual meetings and support from a range of professionals.



2) How does the program work?


You can get lots more info HERE.


Basically, you go onto a liquid only diet for 6 or 12 weeks, and then have a gradual re-introduction to food. You also have a series of routine medical tests including heart tests and blood work done to monitor your health. Weekly group meetings are mandatory for the first 26 weeks, then you move to a less structured follow-up plan. You also meet with a program doctor each week and have individual sessions with other health care professionals like dietitians, physical therapists and personal trainers.


This is how my plan is set up - it does varies from person to person. During the first week of the program I restricted my diet to 1200 calories of "normal" food. Then for 12 weeks I have 4 shakes a day - for a daily caloric intake of 900 calories. Then I will start to re-introduce real food. You gradually reduce the number of shakes you have each day and replace it with strict real-food options. For example, the first week of transition you have 3 shakes a day plus 1 cup of veggies and 1 serving of protein. When I get to transition I promise to write more...well, I will NEED to write more to get my head around it all!



3) What is the name of the shakes? Do they taste good? What flavours?


The actual product is called OPTIFAST and it is made by Nestle. In Canada it is actually a prescription. The Canadian program only offers 2 flavours of shake powders: chocolate and vanilla. You can use low calorie, or no-calorie extracts to flavour if you like -

but I have decided to keep things simple.

I usually have 2 chocolate shakes a day, one vanilla shake a day and I also usually mix one vanilla shake with cold coffee once a day. I do not mind the taste. I did worry about how it would taste - but they are OK. You can adjust the amount of water used to change the consistency of the shake.


Some people use blenders, but I am lazy and use the hand shaker they gave us.

You have up to 20 calories to play with - many people use this as up to 1/4 cup of skim milk for their coffees, or to drink a cup of broth. I actually use the broth option to replace my salts if I have an extreme workout or soccer game where I sweat lots. It is actually quite refreshing and satisfying - can you friggin' believe I just wrote that about broth!?!?!?

The shake is perfectly balanced to meet all your nutrient needs. The goal is to provide your body with just enough calories to function and to get into a light state of ketosis. In ketosis your body is releasing ketones, which means you are burning stored fat. In ketosis you do not feel hungry - for real!!! I have found that I am not as moody or tired as before - my body has the fuel it needs and no junk in it. I am no longer artificially boosting my sugar levels to compensate. I actually feel GREAT!

4) Do you miss food? Do you have any cravings?


There are times when I miss food - or more specifically chewing a variety of tastes. But, I am kind of liking the simplicity of the shakes. It is like a vacation from food. It is easy and instead of dwelling on the food I am missing, I think of what I am doing to take control and what I am learning.


The shakes are sweet - so I sometimes crave salty or some of the ethnic flavours I love. But, again, I try to stay focused and think to myself that right now, no food will taste as good as I am going to feel lighter and healthier. I have also discovered a bunch of decaf/herbal teas that give me a variety of flavours.

What I miss most is dinner time with my family. I have decided not to participate in the dinner hour - for personal reasons I decided I did not want my 3 young children to see me not eating. So, I make the meal, serve it and then escape - I either go for a walk, go to soccer, to the gym or go blog. Therefore, I do not miss food, but the social and family-bonding that takes place during food-related activities.


5) What have you learned so far?


Oh, I have learned so much about my old eating habits, old insecurities, and about the relationship I had with food. I have also learned a series of coping techniques and strategies for keeping the weight off. Look over to the right sidebar - I am starting a little list!


I am amazed at a few things:

• how little FUEL the body needs to work efficiently


• how easily other emotions can be mistaken for hunger


• how good I feel when I am not eating crap


• how much I use to eat BEFORE I ate - taste testing while cooking, snacking and stealing from the kids


• how I need accountability and I will ALWAYS need to watch my weight and work hard at maintaining a healthy weight, and


• how much I deserve to be happy, healthy, active, and to feel beautiful, inside and out.

Our weekly meetings cover a whole series of topics including portion controls, journalling, coping strategies, exercise programs, label reading and food preparation, and creating support systems.

I like how the behaviour specialist tells us that not everyone has will power - but you can have skill power to make the the right, informed, healthy decisions needed to succeed.

Another HUGE lesson I am learning each and every day is what foods I do not need. This is a bit of a strange concept to explain. Before, I believed totally in the "everything in moderation" theory. But I am plagued with the "all or nothing" mentality too...a deadly combination! I still believe in moderation, but my attitude has changed a bit. For example, it is OK to have a chocolate bar - but now I need to ask myself, do I REALLY want that chocolate bar. I really think my food choices will change. At the end of the 12 weeks I will have made it through multiple stresses, challenges and cravings without junk food or comfort food. Therefore, why do I need those bad food choices to help cope with life situations??? So, I have learned that there are foods just not worth having and that the high they gave me or the comfort they gave me was artificial. I now have new and better coping mechanisms.

I have learned so much...and have lots more to learn!

6) What is your weight goal?

Believe it or not, but my main goal is not number-oriented. Instead, I want to be healthy and fit. I want to have fun playing my soccer, be competitive in my soccer leagues, feel good about myself and enjoy being active with my family.

But in terms of pure numbers - my initial goal was to loose 10% of my body weight - I did that at week 7. Now I am working towards getting below 200 pounds. At the end of the 26 weeks I hope to have lost at least 50 pounds - then I will re-evaluate. I am never going to be 102 pounds - but I may decide to start maintaining a healthy, active 175 pounds. The program doctors have told me that 170-180 would be a good goal for me.

Realistically, results on this program can vary - but many people loose 10% of their starting weight by week 6 and then loose 5-10% again by week 12. Most people have an increase during transition, but then by monitoring their diet and following an exercise program they begin to loose again.

Well, this post is getting very long! I think the bottom line for me is that this program is working. It is a tough one - a strict one, and an extreme one - but the benefits, lessons learned and the successes I have had to date make it all worth it.

As you have read in previous posts, there have been challenges. But in the end, I know that I will meet my goals and I will be successful in maintaining a healthy weight and lifestyle. Failure is not an option. My love of life, my love for my wonderful husband and my amazing kids outweigh any struggle or challenge I may face.

Thank you all for your support.

For now, I will keep shaking, and keep loosing and learning and rediscovering myself.

Keep the questions and comments coming!

Weighing in with Questions and Answers

Yesterday I thought I was simply posting about my menu planning for the week. Nothing too exciting - in my humble opinion...then the comments and emails started to come in. WOW.


The amount of support and encouragement that I am recieving from all my bloggy-friends is over whelming. Please - KEEP IT COMING - I need your support and encouragement. I so appreciate your comments and cheers. It is all helping me keep focased and motivated.


Yesterday also sparked a few questions. My inbox began to overflow with question marks! Everything from, "why did you decide on a liquid diet" to "what do the shakes taste like" to " do you have any cravings and how do you control them?".


One comment left yesterday by the wonderful, lovely and ever-brilliant blogger Mrs. Incredible at That's Life v 2.0 really made me stop and think.

"I find it interesting how you are able to detach yourself from the food prep. That is a good skill to have, but I am sure it is not easy.I am also wondering if you have specific cravings, or do you try to not think about that. I am a little afraid to even ask the question, because I don't want to derail your progress. But, I was thinking that with all those shakes you might be wanting something not as sweet. I hope this was not a bad question to ask. I think you are doing awesome and I like hearing about how you are changing your relationship with food. I think that even for people who don't have a lot of weight to lose, examining how we view food in our lives can be valuable."

I am a very open and honest person, and I like sharing my thoughts and opinions. By being open and writing about my weight loss journey I hope to be an example for others - liquid diets are not for everyone - but healthy lifestyles and choices are for everyone. I never thought I would be inspirational for anyone embarking on a improving their lifestyle choices, but maybe I can be just that...maybe I can use my blog to document my own journey, track my progress, keep myself motivated, while sharing my newly acquired knowledge and information and helping others make better lifestyle choises and lead healtheir lives.

So, I now open the floor to you - my lovely readers - ask me anything - well, almost anything - about my Weight Loss Program, commitment or plans. Over the next few weeks I will start answering them to the best of my ability.

I am no expert - just a fat girl working hard to loose the fringe, get control, and rediscovering the person I want to be - all while blogging and doing a liquid diet!

Ask away!