Weight Loss Milestone and Gift Wish # 37

My Journey thus far:

September 5, 2008 = 245.5 pounds

March 4, 2008 = 175.6 pounds

70 pound weight loss!!!!!

Last night I hit a huge milestone in my weight loss journey. I had originally set the goal of loosing 70 pounds in 52 weeks...and I did it in 27 weeks!

My new goal is to loose the final 30 pounds and then maintain my weight between 145 and 150.

When I started this journey I was addicted to junk food, fatty foods and huge helpings...now, I am addicted to exercise magazines and healthy cooking magazines.

So, for gift wish number 37 I would love a subscription to one, or all of the following:

Do you know any great magazines I should add to my list???? Let me know!!!

Tipping the Scales - and T Minus 38 days

This evening is my last "regular" Weight Management meeting. No more weekly hospital meetings. I now go into "self preservation mode". Instead of weekly group meetings and weekly doctor meetings, I will monthly doctor meetings and get to choose 6 sessions to attend in the next 6 months. 27 weeks have flown by! I still remember the apprehension I felt applying, committing and starting the program.

Initially, I thought the 12 weeks of of "no food" was going to be the hard part - but really, it was the transition and now, daily living. I NEVER want to go back to where I was - and I am so afraid of that happening. I do not want to be "that girl". You know, that poor girl who worked so hard to take off all the weight, only to put it all back on...and then some.

I have the potential to be that girl - and that scares me. But may, just maybe I can capitalize on that fear and keep focused and committed.

I have seen the results of weight loss. I feel great - I have so much more energy - I am see the benefits in all aspects of my life.

I am super proud of my commitment and hard work - and I still see areas I need to improve. I want to eat healthy. I want to live healthy. And, I think that desire will help me realize my ultimate weight loss goals and it will help me stay committed to this entire lifestyle change.

I hope it does...

I am sure there will be a strange feel in the meeting tonight. Most of us are not done our weight loss journey - and I think we all feel a bit nervous, anxious and tentative to be "on our own".

At the same time, I know that I am looking to define, follow and keep to a new lifestyle. I am confident that Weight Watchers will help me to get there and stay there.

My Weight Management Program with the liquid diet component taught m so much. I am walking out of the program with invaluable knowledge, acceptance and know-how. I am grateful to the program, and more specifically to the leaders - but my journey does not end, just because my program ends.

Thank you to everyone who has been following my journey. Thank you for your support. I hope that you will keep reading, commenting, inspiring, encouraging and cheering me on - I will never be able to properly express my gratitude.

OK - now, back to our Birthday Gift Count Down.

Drum Roll......at Number 38, my wish would be to get a little wave runner...a nice leisure and recreational vehicle.

This is the model I fell in love with at the Ottawa Boat Show this past weekend.

Anderson appreciated the fine steering and power of this fun-machine...

DJ could picture himself catching some rays and hitting some waves...

Madigan and Mommy were envisioning all the fun our entire family could have

enjoying this wonderful gift!!!

(and Daddy was salivating and drooling all over the place!!!)

Hee hee... no where in the rules does it say all 40 gifts have to be realistic...they can be the stuff dreams are made of!!!!

Weight Watchers & Steroids

I attended my second Weight Watchers meeting last night. According to their scales I am down one pound since my last weigh in with them - and their reading of 179 pounds is exactly what my weigh in at the hospital was on Tuesday night. So, we are all on the same page, or, well, should I say on the same weight???!!!


The meeting was packed - it is a very large group. We celebrated some successes: 5 pounds, 15 pounds and obtaining goal weight. It was nice to outwardly and publicly recognize people who are succeeding on program. (more on that later!) The main topic of the meeting was on tracking and the difference between journalling everything you eat and the simply satisfied strategy. I am a tracker - and I NEED to be a tracker - so, the meeting simply helped me to further commit to writing down EVERYTHING I eat and drink. By tracking and documenting and portion control, I think my weight loss will continue.


The team leader, while not super thin, was very energetic, encouraging and enthusiastic. I enjoyed her style and look forward to our next meeting.


Two side bars:

1. My co-Weight Watcher joining friend had a GREAT first week - she lost 3 pounds!!! Ya for DC!!!!!! (hope you do not mind a call out in this forum!!!!) LOVE YA! See you tonight for our walk!


2. I mentioned my blog at the meeting last night - hello all new Fringe Walkers - Welcome! It felt a bit strange to publicly mention and give the url of my blog to basically a room of strangers - but I look forward to meeting new Fringe readers and sharing, learning and loosing together!

Ok - now, back to my post for today.

Did you see my title? Confused? No, Weight Watchers is not pushing steroids! No, when I applied, interviewed and accepted a spot in my Weight Management program I figured the 2 hour weekly meetings would be like Weight Watchers' meeting - only kind of like WW Meetings on Steroids. I was excited - I am an extrovert and thrive on group discussion and such.

As I mentioned the other day, I only have one more weekly session for my program - then I have 6 additional sessions. Overall, I am very disappointed in the weekly sessions. Over the last 25 weeks I have committed to the program and have not missed one session. I have learned new strategies and have taken new lessons from many of the sessions - but overall, I found the sessions unprofessional and basically lame.

Initially, I was super excited about having sessions by a behaviour specialist, a nutritionist, and an exercise specialist. Very quickly, it was apparent that the nutritionist was the MVP of this group of professionals. The behaviour specialist was very nice, knowledgeable, and able to draw on her own experiences on the product - but she lacked a dynamic feature that the Weight Watcher leaders I have seen so far seem to have in over abundance. The sessions did not have a structured flow and I felt like much time was wasted on pop-culture items such as Oprah and here weight struggles. I also found that the behaviour specialist, while very friendly and empathetic to our struggles was too concerned about being politically correct and should have been a bit more stronger in preaching concrete weight loss strategies and habits.

I was utterly disappointed in the exercise component of the program - perhaps since I have always been active - but just the same, the young, perky gal was a bit of a flutter-cake who did not deliver any of the exercise examples and programs as she promised. Three sessions were used up, when the content she provided could have been done in one session. I would have liked to have seen one intro to exercise session, one session on defining and sticking to an exercise program and one session on evaluating and setting future goals.

As mentioned, the nutritionist was great. She gave good talks with lots of information. She was very knowledgeable and friendly. I found her very approachable. I enjoyed the session on reading labels and learned so much. I really enjoyed the taste testing session where she made healthy, quick items we got to try. I have suggested they have more sessions like that in the program - one guy in the program just eats cans of beans, and perhaps if we made, tasted and saw food choices he could graduate to other items!!!! I know I always appreciate hands on knowledge gathering on food and cooking items.

Another element that I really like at WW and found lacking at the Weight Management Program was the aspect of celebrating milestones. Unless we discussed our successes, and failures amongst ourselves, the leaders rarely drew attention to our weight losses. Especially while on product, you could see the weight coming off the participants - but there was no class celebrating. I realize this was for a reason, and that Weight Watchers really totes the successes - but it is easier to stay motivated when you know your hard work will be acknowledged. For this reason, I prefer the WW method.

In terms of the doctors - I looked forward to the weekly doctor sessions - though sometimes they were a bit lame. How are you doing? Look at you! WOW. See you next week! This program is toted as "medically supervised" I think more attention should have been paid to our routine blood work and really discussing our weight issues with the doctor, instead of just reviewing scale numbers.

Also, I think a session with a qualified professional - almost like a one-on-one shrink session - would have been a great addition to the program. People could explore their eating issues in confidence and with a professional. I did not feel I could really talk about certain elements of my weight struggle in front of the group. Further more, there was a session when one topic really hit a nerve with another participant and her reaction to the topic screamed for professional help. I am certain some of her eating issues stem from abuse and having a secure, professional therapy session may have helped more than skimming over her issues in the bug group. I for one also would have appreciated the one-on-one time to discuss the more emotional and deep-seated eating issues I have been working on.

Finally, the list of additional information sessions they distributed last week was a joke. The topics covered in Weight Watchers are more concrete and interesting. I have to choose 6 sessions to attend and not one session offered this spring interests me....not sure what I will do!

OK - once again, my post is getting long, and winded. I am not even going to proof read this post since I do not want to keep adding to it!!!!!

Like every program, there are definite pros and cons to The Weight Management Program. Like I said before, I will NEVER regret participating - but I am also ready to move on. I am excited to see what Weight Watchers has to offer...and I am even more excited about keeping focused, keeping committed and succeeding in redefining my eating habits, my relationship with food and loosing more weight!

Almost 67 pounds lost...about 30 more to go!

Weighing In

Weight loss wise, this has been a fairly good week. I have stuck mainly to my food plan and have been exercising a lot. I am anticipating a loss at tonight's weigh in.

Last week I had a gain, as I had predicted. I had gone up two pounds - I could list 4 issues that negatively impacted me last week. I am not upset or frustrated - heck, in 23 weeks I have lost consistently, only gaining in two weeks for a total gain of 2.5 pounds! I am very glad, I was able to regroup and have a good week. Even if the scale does not say a loss tonight, I know it has been a good 7 days.

I only have 2 more weeks on my hospital monitored weight loss program. I thought perhaps I would weigh in on the program.

One one word: extreme.

Yes, it was an extreme weight loss strategy to attempt. Going off food and following a low calorie liquid diet is not for everyone. It is a controversial way to loose weight. But I think, in some cases, this method could and is very beneficial. I think I am one of those feel-good stories.

I have always been active, and was finding it harder and harder to keep active since my weight was, well, weighing me down. I was beginning to suffocate under extra pounds, emotional eating and mindless eating. Deep down, I knew if I lost pounds fast, that I would get motivated and focused. I knew this would be a good kick-start to my new lifestyle - actually, a kick-start to returning to my old, pre-kid lifestyle.

That is exactly what happened. I am now active 6 out of 7 days doing some sort of physical activity. I am leading an active lifestyle - taking stairs, eating healthy, and being more aware of what my body and mind need to be at ideal function-level.

Going on an all-liquid diet taught me a few lessons:

1. the body actually need very little (compared to what I had been giving it!) fuel to function,
2. Number one is especially true when you are using high-octane fuel such as veggies and healthy alternatives,
3. food does not have to control me...I made it through emotional and stressful situations with no chocolate, or junk food - I coped with only a shake mix...so, now I know I can cope without turning to food,
4. I like good, healthy, interesting food - junk food is just that - JUNK,
5. and finally, I never want to loose control again - and I will never turn to a liquid diet again - I am determined to eat a healthy and sensible diet for the rest of my life.

I am very glad I did this program. I am very proud that I did this program. I am proud, happy and motivated by my 65+ pound loss in less than 6 months.

Unfortunately, I am still coming to terms with me HAVING to resort to this extreme method of loosing weight. how could I not care to such an extreme that I could let myself balloon to such an unhealthy weight. I still beat myself up for past mistakes. Oh, and how I fear I will fall into old habits and destructive behaviour. I do not want to be THAT girl who lost tonnes and tonnes of weight, only to have it all creep back on...

I guess awareness and acceptance and forgiveness are all areas that I still have to work on during this lifelong journey and process.

Fundamentally, I enjoyed the weekly sessions. It kept me motivated and focused. I am actually a bit peeved that at week 26 of the program we stop going weekly. In fact, I went and joined Weight Watchers last week to keep the social, learning and educational component of my journey going in full steam.

OK...this post is getting a bit long winded! I have lots more to say about the different leaders that we had over the last 26 weeks and the doctor and participant involvement...so, I think I will end this post and divide my thoughts into a series of posts that will be a sort of de-briefing of sorts.

I am both positive and realistic. I am facing the life-long challenge of keeping my weight and my eating in control. This is not going to be easy. Over the last 24 weeks I have learned many coping strategies and I have explored my inner-most thoughts and attitudes...I may not have will-power, but I have knowledge-power. I have a plethora of tools, tricks, strategies and ways of combating destructive behaviour, unhealthy temptations and even every-day-ordinary situations...I just have to keep at it, one day at a time.

This is me, 2 weeks before I started the program.

(Approximately 246 pounds)

This is me with only 2 weeks left on the program! Even in my winter coat, you can see a huge difference shedding over 65 pounds can make!!!

(approximately 179 pounds)

I promise more before and after photos soon...the main challenge is FINDING old, fat, me photos since I stayed away from cameras!

PS - guess what I did last week????? I registered for this, and this, and even this! YAH ME!!!!

Diagnosed OXYMORON

I am an OXYMORON.


I am a JUMBO SHRIMP!

(Didn't the great Paul Simon write a song about that? Oh, wait - that was a rock and an island! Well, maybe I am both of those too?!?!?!?)

I have self-diagnosed myself with a very serious newly named (by yours truly) medical condition called the JUMBO SHRIMP SYNDROME.

Now that I have a diagnosis, I am dealing with this condition a lot better. I am in some sort of remission.

For the last few weeks I have been a bit down, not as motivated as before, and a bit in a rut. I was constantly fighting the urge to hang up my running shoes. Look over at my side bar and you will even see a little blimp in my weight loss - for the first time since starting this process, I gained...a WHOLE half a pound. Unfortunately, with Jumbo Shrimp Syndrome, even a small, tiny, insignificant, water-retention, period-about-to-start, gain, can cause a spiral into the death grip of this illness.

Worst of all, I was hearing voices. Chocolate chip cookies that were stashed in the back of the pantry were calling my name; the chip aisle of the grocery store sent off a deafening roar of, " Come on over Laura, the snacking is good over here!" And extra helpings were begging me to put them out of their misery and finish them off.

And when I did exercise or dress in some of my new clothes (smallest sizes since 2003!) I was feeling sexy and skinny! Oh yes, I did. So much so, I went through the bottom drawer of my dresser - yes, the bottom drawer - the one with the lingerie and non-granny underwear.

Oh ya, baby! Alternating with the negative symptoms mentioned above, I started feeling great about myself. I started to really appreciate the change in my body. I started to like my new, healthy curves. I started feeling good about myself. I held my head up high as I exercised, I did not feel out of place at the gym, I did not compare my tickle-fight stance to that of a beached whale. I started to wear sexy underwear on weekdays and even slipped on a lacy number with the hope it would be torn off me (it was!). I started to think I was skinny.

These positive feelings of pride, self-worth and accomplishment would come crashing down with one look in the mirror. While I felt all skinny and great, one look in the mirror, and I would see a happy, yet, still over-weight gal. Insecurity and disappointment would quickly set in. And that would accentuate the negative symptoms of my condition. The happiness would vanish and I was left feeling fat, depressed and upset. When I really opened my eyes and looked at myself, I saw a Jumbo Shrimp.

Basically, inside, I felt all skinny and great, but the reflection in the mirror or the size on the clothing tag, or the annoying high pitch voice of the Wii fit/Madigan, would remind me that yes, I am still considered OBESE.

With tears in my eyes, I would here my inner voice say, "You're an OX, you MORON!"

An ox, you moron... an OXYMORON.

I have become a Jumbo Shrimp.

So, how does a treat Jumbo Shrimp Syndrome?

1. Focus on accomplishments thus far - I have lost 64.5 pounds - that is AMAZING. I need to take pride in that accomplishment.
2. Keep motivated - this is a process - I need to look at my weight loss as a journey and not dwell on a single step within this journey.
3. Journal - I admit it, my journalling has become a bit laxed, I need to document EVERYTHING I eat and drink. I need to be accountable.
4. Celebrate and anticipate - I need to celebrate my accomplishments (almost 65 pounds lost, in the smallest size of pants in years, ate a healthy, good choice breakfast...) and also anticipate new milestones (will soon run my first road race in 7 years, obtaining a 75 pound weight loss total is totally within reach, saying no to those voices each and every time they scream out to me...)
5. Realize this is not an over-night fix, but a new lifestyle. There will be ups and downs and plateaus...and breaking through and making one good decision at a time is the answer.

Yes, I am an OXYMORON and I suffer from Jumbo Shrimp Syndrome, but I will survive, thrive and be happy.

Fitness Friday - Sum of all Fears

I am happy to report that all through the Christmas holidays I stuck to my fitness plan. In fact, I even increased my intensity, duration and frequency.

Now that we are three weeks into the new year, I have slowly fallen into a nice routine. Routine seems to be the name of the game for me. I have made certain personal and family sacrifices in order to make fitness a priority. I have decided that being fit, and working out makes me happy and has one million and one benefits - and a happy Laura makes for a happy wife and a happy mommy and a happy employee. How can I take care of those I love, if I cannot and do not take care of myself?

My fitness objectives for 2009 are all realistic, attainable, and challenging:

1. Play soccer on my 30+ woman's team - for the last 2 seasons I have played goalie. I am a fairly good goalie, but have more fun playing out - but I have not since mt fitness level was way inferior than my teammates
2. Run a 5k road race on St. Paddy's Day
3. Participate in the Running Room's 10K Clinic
4. Run a 10K road race at the National Capital Race Weekend in May
5. Participate in the Running Room's Half Marathon Clinic
6. Run a Half Marathon on Army Race Day in September

In terms of my workout routine:

Monday - Outdoor Run - right now we are building towards running the 5K race, we are running 10 minutes and walking one minute for just over 5k
Tuesday - Wii Fitness Trainer or Tae-Bo or Body Jam DVD and a body sculpt DVD
Wednesday - Total Body Boot Camp at the community centre (FRIGG'N ROCKS!)
Thursday - Job 2K and walk 5km
Friday - Family activity and I am trying to find a yoga or pilates class I like!
Saturday - REST. WHEW!
Sunday - Indoor soccer and/or gym work out

We also got the Wii Fit for Christmas. I am enjoying that as well and usually do 15-30 minutes every other day. I am also taking the stairs a lot more and walking/jogging to the grocery store instead of driving. It all helps. Once I start the "official" running clinics, I will have to re-arrange my workouts.

I think my routine gives me the variety, intensity and level of fun I need to keep motivated.

How do you mix up your routine? Is variety important to you? How do you keep motivated?

As you can see on my side-bar, even with the re-introduction of food, I am loosing weight. I am working very hard and eating a healthy diet. I hope to loose at least another 30 pounds. I am very proud of the 63.5 pounds I have shed since September 2008.

This morning I went through bags of old clothes looking for items that would fit. In one bag I found a pair of nice black jeans. They looked pretty small - I figured they were probably from my pre-baby era.

With a smidge of hesitation I tried them one. They slide on, and I could button them up. WOW. And , they looked pretty good, if I do say so myself...I then felt something in my back pocket. I reached in and this is what I pulled out:It is a movie stub from June 15, 2002! That is the last time I fit into these jeans!!!

Hmmmmmm...."Sum of All Fears" well, the sum of all my fears equates to going back to old habits and gaining weight again and not fitting into these jeans!

Wonder if there is a movie called, " Sum of all hard work"??? That has a better ring! And if I keep motivated, keep true to my fitness plan and my healthy eating, then soon, these pants will be too small!!!!

Wordless Wednesday - Ya! Me!

This was pretty much my reaction when I heard this news at my weight management class:

I am sooooo happy, proud and motivated. I actually have about another 30 pounds to loose, but in 10 pounds I will hit the main goal I set at the beginning of my weight management program.

Now that I am done transition and eating a full menu plan, my goal is to loose 10-30 pounds through healthy eating, increased fitness activities and portion control. My objective is to loose 1-3 pounds a week for the next 10 weeks and then to re-evaluate my ultimate desired weight!

Ya! Me!

(Thank you to everyone for your wonderful support!)

Rulers and Loosers

Ok. Yesterday, well, let's write off yesterday! I did not have a very good day - at first I thought of posting a sorrow and sympathy post about what happened at work...but, then I decided against that. I am hoping my arguments are considered and perhaps this terrible situation will be solved in a timely and appropriate manner. OK, enough of that!

So, then what? What should I write about? Hmmmmmmm.....



A science experiment! Ya!



OK...quick, run to the junk drawer and pull out your straight ruler, a pencil, a piece of paper and scissors.


I'll wait - this is a cool experiment!











OK. Welcome back!

Onto this experiment in human reaction.

Now, carefully measure out 10 inches or 25.40 centimeters.

Cut the paper so that you have a strip that is 10 inches or 25.40 centimeters long.









Great!

Now, hold it up to your waist line, pointing out.

Got it?



Ok, now, this is the cool part, most people have the exact same reaction to what happens next.







Wait for it.....






That 10 inches or 25.40 centimeters, represents how much MY waist line has decreased in 15 weeks....10 inches people.....10 friggin inches!!


Did you gasp a little? Even mutter, "holy crap"?!?!!?!?


Yep, that is the usual reaction - and I LOVE it!!!!


Ya me!!!





I rule as a looser!!!!

Menu Plan Monday - Transition Week 2

Check out more Menu Plan Monday entries at I'm an Organizing Junkie.

Now the "real" menu planning comes into action for me. I am now coordinating more meals in which I can enjoy with my family.


I am moving into week 2 of my transition back to regular food. Starting on Wednesday, my daily food intake will include the following:

• 2 OPTIFAST Shakes
• 1 grain/Starch serving
• 1 Fruit
• 2 cups Veggies
• 1 Milk & Alternative
• 4 Meat & Alternative

So, with my daily food requirements, I am working very hard to create healthy, delicious meals with an element of kid-friendliness!

Monday - Salisbury Steak - I found an awesome site called Roni's Weigh. This gal is AMAZING. besides loosing an amazing 70 pounds, and keeping it off, she has multiple blogs regarding healthy eating and living. You should really check her out!!!

Tuesday - I have my weight management class, so Pizza Night for the wee folk and Daddy.

Wednesday - Salmon and Leeks (see recipe below)

Thursday - Baked Chicken and Acorn Squash - I stole this recipe from $5 Dollar Dinners blog - sounds very yummy and easy!

Friday - Fish Fillet night with Assorted Veggies - Easy, peasy, I heat lemon juice and garlic and crushed red peppers, throw in some white fish fillets (whatever kind of fish we have in the freezer) and then chuncked up veggies and a splash of hosein sauce.

Saturday - The boys are going to a Ginger Bread Making Party, so I am thinking dinner will be something simple - maybe even take out on our way home!

Sunday - I am going to use my crock pot to make a roast beef - my first ever attempt - will be sure to add a recipe and verdict next week!

I am very excited about my increased amount of real food this week. I am hoping by carefully following my new plan, and exercising, I will continue to loose a minimum of one pound a week. I am now slowly inching towards my goal.

I have based my weekly menu on the above family meals with slight alterations to keep with my plan, but all-in-all they are meshing very well.

Monday - 4:30am Shake, 9am fruit, noon salad with 1 cup salad veggies, 1/4 cup cottage cheese, 1/4 cup flaked tuna, 5pm Shake, 7pm Shake

Tuesday - 4:30am Shake, 9am fruit, noon salad with 1 cup salad veggies, 1grain bread and 1 hard boiled egg, 5pm Shake, 7pm Shake

Wednesday - 4:30am Shake, 9am fruit, noon salad with 1 cup salad veggies, 1grain bread and 1 hard boiled egg, 5pm Shake, 7pm 1 cup salad veggies with 3 ounces salmon and leek dinner.

Thursday - 4:30am Shake, 9am fruit, noon salad with 1 cup salad veggies, 1/4 cup cottage cheese 2 oz modified Salisbury Steak, 5pm Shake, 7pm 1/2 cup salad veggies with 3 baked chicken and acorn squash dinner.

Friday - 4:30am Shake, 9am fruit, noon salad with 1 cup stir fry veggies and 2 oz of ground turkey with onion, 5pm Shake, Fish Fillet dinner with Assorted Veggies.

Saturday - 9am shake, noon 1 cup salad veggies, 1/2 grilled cheese sandwich, 2pm fruit, 5pm grilled veggies and tofu, 8pm Shake.

Sunday - 9am Shake, noon salad with 1 cup salad veggies, 1/4 cup cottage cheese, 1/4 cup flaked tuna, 5pm pot roast and mashed cauliflower/potatoes.

Yummy! Yummy! Plan well! Eat well!

SALMON AND LEEKS*

8 Medium Leeks (whites and light green parts only)

2 tsp Olive Oil

1 lbs Salmon Fillets

Pepper to taste, touch of salt

Lemon Wedges

Preheat oven to 450F. Clean leeks well by soaking in a bowl of cool water. Quarter leeks lengthwise and half crosswise. On a large rimmed baking sheet toss leeks with oil, season with touch of salt and pepper. Roast, toasting once, until beginning to soften - about 12-15 minutes.

Remove leeks from oven, toss with pan juices to coat, and push to edges of baking sheet. Arrange salmon pieces and season with pepper.

Return to oven, roast until salmon is just opaque throughout, 10-15 minutes. Serve with lemon wedges.

Nutritional Info - 1 salmon fillet = 3 Meat/Alternative Choices

290Kcal, 25g Protein, 10g Fat, 25g Carbs and 85mg sodium

* Recipe adapted from Everyday Food. April 2006.

Menu Planning - Transition Week 1

This is my fifth week participating in Menu Plan Mondays.

I cannot say enough good things about this awesome resource! By menu planning I am saving time, money and effort - all while ensuring my family gets a healthy, balanced diet!

This week will mark a significant occurrence - I will begin my transition back to regular food. On Tuesday I will have completed 12 weeks of the liquid diet, and will start re-introducing real food to my diet. The transition is slow and gradual, and like the entire program, is doctor monitored. So, this week, my Menu Plan Monday takes on a totally new angle!

Family menu for the week:

Monday - Left Overs

Tuesday - Pizza ( I have my weight management class, I am hoping to be ounces away from marking 50 pounds lost! Keep your fingers crossed for me!)

Wednesday - This is DJ's birthday and he has requested "long sgeheti with shrimpies". Yummy!

Thursday - Crock Pot Chicken and Brown Rice Casserole - I found this A year of Crock Potting blog, which I found through Menu Plan Mondays!

Friday - Fish and Chips

Saturday - Christmas Party Buffet style ( I am bringing unstuffed turkey cabbage rolls. The link goes to the original recipe - I have "veggie-bulked" it by added lots of peppers, mushrooms & shredded carrots, plus I add black beans or kidney beans for more punch!)

Sunday - Pork Tenderloin with green beans and mashed potato/cauliflower. See below for recipe - I got it from my Weight Management Course Menu Planning section.


Ok...now, for my menu planning!

Starting on Wednesday, I will be having 3 shakes (instead of 4) daily, along with 1 cup of veggies, 1 fruit serving and 3 meat/alternative servings.

Monday - 4 shakes

Tuesday - 4 shakes

Wednesday

• 5am - Shake
• 9am - 1 cup blue berries
• 1pm - 1 cup chicken broth, 1 cup mixed salad with 12-14 grilled shrimp and lemon juice
• 5pm - Shake
• 8pm - Shake

Thursday

• 5am - Shake
• 9am - 1 small apple
• 1pm - stir fry veggies with 3 oz of chicken
• 5pm - Shake
• 8pm - Shake

Friday

• 5am - Shake
• 9am - 1 cup blue berries
• 1pm - broth soup with assorted veggies, 1/4 cup canned tuna mixed with red peppers and 2/3 cup no-fat cottage cheese
• 5pm - Shake
• 8pm - Shake

Saturday

• 9am - Shake
• 2pm - Shake
• 6pm - Christmas party - I am planning to have 1.5 cup of my unstuffed turkey cabbage rolls, and substituting 1 fruit serving for 1 cup of veggies to munch on
• 8pm Shake

Sunday

• 9am - Shake
• 11am - 1 small banana
• 1pm - Shake
• 4pm - Shake
• 6pm - Pork tenderloin and green beans

PORK TENDERLOIN WITH GREEN BEANS

1/2 cup Frozen apple juice concentrate

2 tbsp Honey Mustard

2 tbsp fresh rosemary

1 tbsp olive oil

2 cloves garlic, minced

1 large shallot, minced

1/4 tsp black pepper

1.5 pounds of pork tenderloin, trimmed fat

1. Combine all ingredients, except pork into a zip-lock bag, add pork and turn pork to coat evenly. Marinate for 2 hours in refrigerator.
2. Cook pork tenderloin - this can be done on bbq, on stove top or in baking dish in the oven.
3. Let pork sit for 5 minutes before carving - slice into 1/2 inch-thick slices. Bring remaining marinade to a boil and drizzle over pork. Serve immediately.
4. Makes 5 servings.

Nutritional Info

Choices: 3 Meat or Meat Alternative servings

Calories - 250 kcal

Protein - 30 g

Fat - 7.5 g

Carbs - 14 g

Sodium 160 mg

YUMMMY YUMMY!

Is the glass half-empty or half-full?

I guess it all depends on how you look at it...

www.my-calorie-counter.com The webs free Nutrition Calculator

Half-empty, as in the fact that I worked out so hard this week, and only had a one pound decrease...

Half-full, as in, I am under 200 pounds for the first time since month 5 of my first pregnancy 5 years ago, I am on day 4 of my period, and I only have one more week of full fast left.

I am trying to be more optimistic than pessimistic...but it is hard...

Long Day Lessons

Today has been a long day - literally, it has been a long day.

3:02 AM - Woke up
3:55 - Arrived at work
4:00 - 8:00 - Worked regular hours
8:30 - 11:30 - Played with Madigan, folded laundry, packed for all three kiddies, ran 3 errands with Madigan
11:40 - Met boys' bus
12:30 - 1:30 Hit McD's drive through for kiddies and drove to Kemptville
1:30 - 3:00 - Had a nice visit with my parents
3:00 - 4:00 - Hit the dollar store in Kemptville for party favours - BINGO! Lucked out and got everything I needed!
4:00 - 4:45 - Drove back to Ottawa
5:00 - 5:30 - Caught up on my blog reading and commenting
5:30 - 7:00 - Relaxed in a warm bath
7:00 - 8:30 - Wink, wink, nudge, nudge --- no kids at home, you can figure out how hubby and I spent our time!!!!! (blush, blush)
8:30 - 10:30 - Napped in the arms of my wonderful man
11:00 PM - Arrived at work to do an extra shift
11:00 PM - 1:30 AM - Monitored National news and completed assigned tasks as requested by the Office of the Prime Minister of Canada
2:00 AM - Arrived home

Now, I hope to sleep as I have my French course at 9AM for 3 LONG hours...

...did I mention it was a long day?

And worst of all - I keep thinking of food! I am so tired and all I want is to snack. Mindless snacking. But I am committed to my weight loss program. But I cannot stop thinking of food! Junk food, comfort food.

I am actually a bit depressed over all this craving sweets and junk food. I am scared that once I am transitioned back to food, I may fall into my old habits. That is not acceptable. I cannot go back to my old ways. I have learned coping strategies. I have worked hard to loose 42+ pounds. Why forfeit all that?

Some days I think I have come a long way in changing my way of thinking of food...and then I have a day like today.

While I am optimistic that I am learning and changing and committing to a healthy lifestyle moving forward - I have now realized food will always be an issue for me. And I will have to be strong, committed and secure in my decisions not to let food control me any more.

I did not break program - even though this has been a long day - and even though in the past I would have snacked on chocolate bars, chips, cola and other terrible food choices - I did not.

I learned an invaluable lesson during my long day.

Good Night! Sleep and Eat well my friends.

Friday Fitness - Investing in You

OHMommy over at Classychaos got me thinking.

Wednesday she wrote a post about Investing in You. Now, Oh Mommy is no ordinary blogger...she is super-duper, beyond belief cool, all inspiring, high-heel-boot-dancing sexy-mama.

Her posts are always informative, thought-provoking, funny and filled with love for her wonderful family. I look forward to her posts and I know you will like them too.

On Wednesday she posted a cool photo of the results of her 12 week boot camp sessions and she ended with the following line:

"It has been a while since I invested in myself, my mental well being, and my physical health. It feels good.I encourage you to invest in yourself too. It is so easy to lose track of yourself, especially as a mother constantly putting yourself before your children. But, if Mama ain't happy no one is happy. Right?"

OHMommy, you could not be any more right. I became a victim of this phenomena of loosing myself while becoming a mother. I became obesely overweight, tired, lazy and sad. I was not happy, and it was starting to show in my patience and parenting style.

But I took action - I had to take action.

I am super proud of my 42 pound weight loss in the last 11 weeks. I have worked hard. I have stuck to my doctor-monitored plan. I have committed. I have succeeded. But I still have a long way to go. I have embraced a new, healthy lifestyle and will continue to invest in me.

As I have been shedding the pounds I have been very committed to increasing the frequency, duration and intensity of my exercise program. I thought perhaps I would start a weekly post called Friday Fitness. This will help me monitor, celebrate and brag about my progress - but it will also become a forum for me to discuss issues, set-backs and challenges.

Here is how I have invested in myself this week:

Monday - Interval running/walking - I am loosely following The Running Room Program and am at 3 min running and 1 minute walking times 5.

Tuesday - Instead of driving for an errand, I jogged (and walked) the 4 KM route.

Wednesday - Boot Camp at Community Centre Gym - My awesome friends Heidi and Dawn are also enduring this pain with me! Awesome motivator to go spend time with my great friends! Man, was it a good workout - the instructor indicated we burned around 500 calories.

Thursday - 90 minute walk with my wonderful friend Dawn (Plus, I spent over an hour racking the leaves in the front yard!)

Friday - Turbo Jam Workout Video - this program ROCKS!

Saturday - I am planning on walking to my French class and hope to go for an interval run with my hubby (oh, I have missed doing that - it has been 5 years!)

Sunday - I have my second indoor soccer game and plan on running my butt off - and scoring a goal!

OK. The wonderfully classy OhMommy asked it of her readers, and now, I ask it of my readers: what are you doing to invest in you?

Oh, OhMommy has a amazing give-away on her blog. GO check it out if you like - but please note that the draw is fixed, and I am going to win these AMAZING Sexy snowbunny" boots from YOU by crocs. ($220 us value). So, basically, there is really no point of you going HERE to have a chance of winning.

Wordless Wednesday

Week 11

Bend it like Beckham

All I have to say is that playing soccer is a whole lot more fun when you are almost 40 pounds lighter!!!!!

I had my first indoor game tonight - and while we did not win - I felt GREAT out there.

I ran the entire time, made good plays and have started to play like I use to...I am so happy and proud of myself...and newly motivated!

Lost: One Preschooler - Wordless Wednesday

This photo was taken on April 1, 2007.

This photo is certainly not a great photo - poor lighting, unattractive background, no special moment caught on film ... so why choose it for Wordless Wednesday?

In this photo DJ weighs 40.5 pounds and Anderson weighs 36 pounds, Madigan weighs just over 14 pounds and me, well, I weigh way too much.

Again you ask, so why choose it for Wordless Wednesday?

Well, last night at weigh-in I was down another 3.5 pounds - taking my total weight loss since September to be 37 pounds.

So, basically, I have lost a preschooler!

So, if you have a toddler hanging around, pick him or her up.

Awkward? Heavy? A nuisance? A burden?

Well, that is what I use to carry around all the time...now, it is gone - forever.

Yep, I have lost a preschooler!

Ya me!

Weighty Issues and Lessons

Ok - today I am answering a few of the questions many of my wonderful bloggy-friends have been asking about my weight loss program.


Let me start off by saying that a liquid diet is not meant for everyone. Talk to your doctor, investigate your options, and then make an informed decision. Education is power!


1) Why did you decide to try a liquid diet?


A few months back I would have never guessed that I would even ponder a full liquid diet, let alone stuck to one! I remember in university, when I was a varsity athlete & in great shape, my roommates did Slimfast. I rolled my eyes at them!!!


I have always been active, especially with playing soccer. Last summer, I was not happy. I felt HUGE, slow, and ashamed of my body, and of my play. So, back in June I started talking to my doctor about options. We discussed exercise programs and dieting. I started different self-paced plans, but nothing was really coming together and I was getting more and more upset. I was trying to watch what I ate, exercising - but not loosing weight. I needed help.

My doctor suggested the program offered at our local hospital. Neither of us knew very much about it - so we started investigating. For the program you had to have over 50 pounds to loose.

After the application process I just knew this program was what I needed. It was extreme - but I felt I needed an extreme solution. I also began to see the benefits (for me) to move to a liquid diet and then have a controlled re-introduction to food. I also liked that this program had mandatory group and individual meetings and support from a range of professionals.



2) How does the program work?


You can get lots more info HERE.


Basically, you go onto a liquid only diet for 6 or 12 weeks, and then have a gradual re-introduction to food. You also have a series of routine medical tests including heart tests and blood work done to monitor your health. Weekly group meetings are mandatory for the first 26 weeks, then you move to a less structured follow-up plan. You also meet with a program doctor each week and have individual sessions with other health care professionals like dietitians, physical therapists and personal trainers.


This is how my plan is set up - it does varies from person to person. During the first week of the program I restricted my diet to 1200 calories of "normal" food. Then for 12 weeks I have 4 shakes a day - for a daily caloric intake of 900 calories. Then I will start to re-introduce real food. You gradually reduce the number of shakes you have each day and replace it with strict real-food options. For example, the first week of transition you have 3 shakes a day plus 1 cup of veggies and 1 serving of protein. When I get to transition I promise to write more...well, I will NEED to write more to get my head around it all!



3) What is the name of the shakes? Do they taste good? What flavours?


The actual product is called OPTIFAST and it is made by Nestle. In Canada it is actually a prescription. The Canadian program only offers 2 flavours of shake powders: chocolate and vanilla. You can use low calorie, or no-calorie extracts to flavour if you like -

but I have decided to keep things simple.

I usually have 2 chocolate shakes a day, one vanilla shake a day and I also usually mix one vanilla shake with cold coffee once a day. I do not mind the taste. I did worry about how it would taste - but they are OK. You can adjust the amount of water used to change the consistency of the shake.


Some people use blenders, but I am lazy and use the hand shaker they gave us.

You have up to 20 calories to play with - many people use this as up to 1/4 cup of skim milk for their coffees, or to drink a cup of broth. I actually use the broth option to replace my salts if I have an extreme workout or soccer game where I sweat lots. It is actually quite refreshing and satisfying - can you friggin' believe I just wrote that about broth!?!?!?

The shake is perfectly balanced to meet all your nutrient needs. The goal is to provide your body with just enough calories to function and to get into a light state of ketosis. In ketosis your body is releasing ketones, which means you are burning stored fat. In ketosis you do not feel hungry - for real!!! I have found that I am not as moody or tired as before - my body has the fuel it needs and no junk in it. I am no longer artificially boosting my sugar levels to compensate. I actually feel GREAT!

4) Do you miss food? Do you have any cravings?


There are times when I miss food - or more specifically chewing a variety of tastes. But, I am kind of liking the simplicity of the shakes. It is like a vacation from food. It is easy and instead of dwelling on the food I am missing, I think of what I am doing to take control and what I am learning.


The shakes are sweet - so I sometimes crave salty or some of the ethnic flavours I love. But, again, I try to stay focused and think to myself that right now, no food will taste as good as I am going to feel lighter and healthier. I have also discovered a bunch of decaf/herbal teas that give me a variety of flavours.

What I miss most is dinner time with my family. I have decided not to participate in the dinner hour - for personal reasons I decided I did not want my 3 young children to see me not eating. So, I make the meal, serve it and then escape - I either go for a walk, go to soccer, to the gym or go blog. Therefore, I do not miss food, but the social and family-bonding that takes place during food-related activities.


5) What have you learned so far?


Oh, I have learned so much about my old eating habits, old insecurities, and about the relationship I had with food. I have also learned a series of coping techniques and strategies for keeping the weight off. Look over to the right sidebar - I am starting a little list!


I am amazed at a few things:

• how little FUEL the body needs to work efficiently


• how easily other emotions can be mistaken for hunger


• how good I feel when I am not eating crap


• how much I use to eat BEFORE I ate - taste testing while cooking, snacking and stealing from the kids


• how I need accountability and I will ALWAYS need to watch my weight and work hard at maintaining a healthy weight, and


• how much I deserve to be happy, healthy, active, and to feel beautiful, inside and out.

Our weekly meetings cover a whole series of topics including portion controls, journalling, coping strategies, exercise programs, label reading and food preparation, and creating support systems.

I like how the behaviour specialist tells us that not everyone has will power - but you can have skill power to make the the right, informed, healthy decisions needed to succeed.

Another HUGE lesson I am learning each and every day is what foods I do not need. This is a bit of a strange concept to explain. Before, I believed totally in the "everything in moderation" theory. But I am plagued with the "all or nothing" mentality too...a deadly combination! I still believe in moderation, but my attitude has changed a bit. For example, it is OK to have a chocolate bar - but now I need to ask myself, do I REALLY want that chocolate bar. I really think my food choices will change. At the end of the 12 weeks I will have made it through multiple stresses, challenges and cravings without junk food or comfort food. Therefore, why do I need those bad food choices to help cope with life situations??? So, I have learned that there are foods just not worth having and that the high they gave me or the comfort they gave me was artificial. I now have new and better coping mechanisms.

I have learned so much...and have lots more to learn!

6) What is your weight goal?

Believe it or not, but my main goal is not number-oriented. Instead, I want to be healthy and fit. I want to have fun playing my soccer, be competitive in my soccer leagues, feel good about myself and enjoy being active with my family.

But in terms of pure numbers - my initial goal was to loose 10% of my body weight - I did that at week 7. Now I am working towards getting below 200 pounds. At the end of the 26 weeks I hope to have lost at least 50 pounds - then I will re-evaluate. I am never going to be 102 pounds - but I may decide to start maintaining a healthy, active 175 pounds. The program doctors have told me that 170-180 would be a good goal for me.

Realistically, results on this program can vary - but many people loose 10% of their starting weight by week 6 and then loose 5-10% again by week 12. Most people have an increase during transition, but then by monitoring their diet and following an exercise program they begin to loose again.

Well, this post is getting very long! I think the bottom line for me is that this program is working. It is a tough one - a strict one, and an extreme one - but the benefits, lessons learned and the successes I have had to date make it all worth it.

As you have read in previous posts, there have been challenges. But in the end, I know that I will meet my goals and I will be successful in maintaining a healthy weight and lifestyle. Failure is not an option. My love of life, my love for my wonderful husband and my amazing kids outweigh any struggle or challenge I may face.

Thank you all for your support.

For now, I will keep shaking, and keep loosing and learning and rediscovering myself.

Keep the questions and comments coming!

Transformation has begun!

I am officially starting week 10 of my weight management program. I started on September 9th with a 1200 calorie diet - then for the last 7 weeks I have been on a liquid diet. It is medically supervised and includes weekly group meetings with a behaviour specialist and weekly doctor appointments and scheduled labs.

The results are starting to show...and I could not be happier or prouder of my efforts.

Last night I did not anticipate a big weekly weight loss - day 4 of my period (TMI!!!) - but was pleasantly surprised when the scales dipped by 5 pounds! Therefore, my total weight loss is now 33.5 pounds.

The transformation has begun!

This photo was taken in August - it is simply NOT a flattering photo - but it helped me decide to get serious and loose the weight - funny how powerful a photo can be!

These two photos were taken in September 2008. In the second one I am basically hiding behind Madigan - ashamed of my size.

Here I am on October 24 - since I am wearing the same t-shirt in all the photos, you can really see that my transformation has begun!

Weighing in with Questions and Answers

Yesterday I thought I was simply posting about my menu planning for the week. Nothing too exciting - in my humble opinion...then the comments and emails started to come in. WOW.


The amount of support and encouragement that I am recieving from all my bloggy-friends is over whelming. Please - KEEP IT COMING - I need your support and encouragement. I so appreciate your comments and cheers. It is all helping me keep focased and motivated.


Yesterday also sparked a few questions. My inbox began to overflow with question marks! Everything from, "why did you decide on a liquid diet" to "what do the shakes taste like" to " do you have any cravings and how do you control them?".


One comment left yesterday by the wonderful, lovely and ever-brilliant blogger Mrs. Incredible at That's Life v 2.0 really made me stop and think.

"I find it interesting how you are able to detach yourself from the food prep. That is a good skill to have, but I am sure it is not easy.I am also wondering if you have specific cravings, or do you try to not think about that. I am a little afraid to even ask the question, because I don't want to derail your progress. But, I was thinking that with all those shakes you might be wanting something not as sweet. I hope this was not a bad question to ask. I think you are doing awesome and I like hearing about how you are changing your relationship with food. I think that even for people who don't have a lot of weight to lose, examining how we view food in our lives can be valuable."

I am a very open and honest person, and I like sharing my thoughts and opinions. By being open and writing about my weight loss journey I hope to be an example for others - liquid diets are not for everyone - but healthy lifestyles and choices are for everyone. I never thought I would be inspirational for anyone embarking on a improving their lifestyle choices, but maybe I can be just that...maybe I can use my blog to document my own journey, track my progress, keep myself motivated, while sharing my newly acquired knowledge and information and helping others make better lifestyle choises and lead healtheir lives.

So, I now open the floor to you - my lovely readers - ask me anything - well, almost anything - about my Weight Loss Program, commitment or plans. Over the next few weeks I will start answering them to the best of my ability.

I am no expert - just a fat girl working hard to loose the fringe, get control, and rediscovering the person I want to be - all while blogging and doing a liquid diet!

Ask away!

A Lot on My Mind

I have a lot on my mind. I have been "on program" for 7 weeks and "on product" for 42 days.

Things are going very well. For the most part. Yes, for the most part, they are going very well.

This week I lost a whopping 5 pounds. This makes my total weight loss since September 9th to be 27 pounds!

AMAZING. WONDERFUL.

But, I still have lots on my mind.

Last night at my weekly weigh-in and doctor's appointment I discussed some of the mental and emotional issues I have recently been experiencing. We discussed body image, pride, self control, realistic weight goals and how much of a mental-battle the weight loss journey can be for anyone.

Last week I struggled. You could read it on my blog, see it on my face, and sense it every time I made a meal for my family.

And what I realized, is that I will always struggle in this area. Most people do. The trick is harvesting that negative energy - those negative thoughts - and turning it into determination, pride, strength and endurance to keep committed to a healthy lifestyle.

Weight loss is a mental game.

You need to stay focused, committed and positive. There will be challenges, but with the right attitude and support system, you can make the right choices and you can conquer the mental challenges you face.

I saw a TV show one evening where a female, dressed only in her underwear, was placed in front of a line of similarly dressed women. The body sizes and weights ranged from lower than the "contestant" to higher. Her challenge was to place herself in the line.

WOW. What a social experiment. Every single time the "contestant" would miss-judge her weight and size and place herself multiple spots away from where she actually fit in the line. Every. Single. Time. EVERY SINGLE TIME without fail, she perceived herself as bigger and heavier than she really was, compared to the others.

What does that say about body image?

WOW.

I am most definitely sure that if placed in this challenge I would do the same.

Now, after loosing 27 pounds I am struggling with this body image issue on two fronts. (As if one front was not enough!)

I see myself in photos or in the mirror, and I see myself as HUGE, enormous, FAT.

I am sure I would put myself way out of order in that line of naked women! This frustrates me.

Then I remember I have already lost 27 pounds. That is amazing. Something to be proud of, for sure. I think of how much better I feel - how I have more energy, less mood swings, and how I am more active and happy. Then, I feel good. I feel great. I feel awesome. I feel pride...then I get a glimpse of myself in the mirror - and the battle begins again. Why? Because based on how I feel, I think I should look even better, skinnier. I then have to battle those mental-weight-loss-demons. Re-focus. Re-commit. Re-affirm.

The name of the game is DECISION. COMMITMENT. SUCCESS.

Yes, the numbers matter - the scale numbers, the number of healthy choices made, the amount of exercise completed, the tape measure ticks, and the calories eaten. But weight-loss is also a mental challenge - so, how you feel about yourself and how you feel mentally, physically and emotionally matter just the same, if not more.

Yes. I have a lot on my mind.