Wednesday, October 22, 2008

A Lot on My Mind

I have a lot on my mind. I have been "on program" for 7 weeks and "on product" for 42 days.

Things are going very well. For the most part. Yes, for the most part, they are going very well.

This week I lost a whopping 5 pounds. This makes my total weight loss since September 9th to be 27 pounds!


But, I still have lots on my mind.

Last night at my weekly weigh-in and doctor's appointment I discussed some of the mental and emotional issues I have recently been experiencing. We discussed body image, pride, self control, realistic weight goals and how much of a mental-battle the weight loss journey can be for anyone.

Last week I struggled. You could read it on my blog, see it on my face, and sense it every time I made a meal for my family.

And what I realized, is that I will always struggle in this area. Most people do. The trick is harvesting that negative energy - those negative thoughts - and turning it into determination, pride, strength and endurance to keep committed to a healthy lifestyle.

Weight loss is a mental game.

You need to stay focused, committed and positive. There will be challenges, but with the right attitude and support system, you can make the right choices and you can conquer the mental challenges you face.

I saw a TV show one evening where a female, dressed only in her underwear, was placed in front of a line of similarly dressed women. The body sizes and weights ranged from lower than the "contestant" to higher. Her challenge was to place herself in the line.

WOW. What a social experiment. Every single time the "contestant" would miss-judge her weight and size and place herself multiple spots away from where she actually fit in the line. Every. Single. Time. EVERY SINGLE TIME without fail, she perceived herself as bigger and heavier than she really was, compared to the others.

What does that say about body image?


I am most definitely sure that if placed in this challenge I would do the same.

Now, after loosing 27 pounds I am struggling with this body image issue on two fronts. (As if one front was not enough!)

I see myself in photos or in the mirror, and I see myself as HUGE, enormous, FAT.

I am sure I would put myself way out of order in that line of naked women! This frustrates me.

Then I remember I have already lost 27 pounds. That is amazing. Something to be proud of, for sure. I think of how much better I feel - how I have more energy, less mood swings, and how I am more active and happy. Then, I feel good. I feel great. I feel awesome. I feel pride...then I get a glimpse of myself in the mirror - and the battle begins again. Why? Because based on how I feel, I think I should look even better, skinnier. I then have to battle those mental-weight-loss-demons. Re-focus. Re-commit. Re-affirm.

The name of the game is DECISION. COMMITMENT. SUCCESS.

Yes, the numbers matter - the scale numbers, the number of healthy choices made, the amount of exercise completed, the tape measure ticks, and the calories eaten. But weight-loss is also a mental challenge - so, how you feel about yourself and how you feel mentally, physically and emotionally matter just the same, if not more.

Yes. I have a lot on my mind.


Melissa said...

I would say these are all normal things to think about. And saying losing weight is a game is so correct. I often find myself playing the should I eat this game.

I've lost almost 40 pounds now and I feel fatter then ever. That makes me sad....guess I have a lot on my mind, too.

Oh, and 5 pounds? FABULOUS!!

InTheFastLane said...

You are doing great! But, it is a mind game. I know that my all accounts I am within a healthy weight range (a little on the high side, but still within healthy). And yet, I struggle with how I perceive myself all the time. I compare myself to others, when I shouldn't. I feel places I don't think I should have curves, but do. I think it is a lifetime struggle and hopefully at some point we can make peace with our bodies.

Tara R. said...

What a challenge you are taking on, not just the weight loss, but the whole shift in self-image. You're doing so great, just keep trying and working hard. The end results are going to be fabulous! 27 pounds is awesome!

Kellan said...

What a great post, Laura!! And ... 27 lbs is fantastic - you are doing FANTASTIC!!

Take care - Kellan

Kathryn said...

I think weight loss is much more a mental obstacle than anything else. You have to change your whole way of thinking. It is so tough. But you are doing it exactly right. And I'm so glad you have someone to talk this all through with. That helps!!!

I love that show! I think it is "How to Feel Good Naked" with that Carson guy. I always wonder where I would put myself in the lineup. Hmmm.

Kathryn said...

And congrats on the 5 pounds!!!!

forgetfulone said...

You do have a lot on your mind. I agree that weight loss, just like any other committment, is a great deal mental attitude, and you are doing fabulous!

Now, take your mind off it for a few moments because I am tagging you for a meme.

Mighty Morphin' Mama said...

I will be praying for you on this journey, figuring out this mental part is the key to making the weightloss permanent. I know you will figure it all out, this is all normal and part of the process. Good for you for doing the hard work.