Friday, August 31, 2007

Out numbered (and loving it!)

When people find out that we have a 3 1/2 year old, a 2 1/2 year old and a 6 month old baby they all seem to have the same look of pity come over their faces. And nine times out of ten they will comment,"Boy, you must be busy!". To this predictable comment I always add, "... and loving it!".

But, I have to admit, at times we (my husband and I) feel a bit out numbered.

My husband and I never really discussed how many kids we each thought would be ideal. We always knew we would like to have children - in the plural, but no real number was ever discussed. I came from a family of two siblings and David is the eldest of four.

Our adventure started one February morning when we decided to forgo birth control in hopes of starting a family some time soon. Imagine our surprise when it happened that month!

DJ's entry into this world was not easy, smooth or anything like I had envisioned. I had planned and prepared for a drug-free natural birth. But after many, many hours of hard labour, a c-section had to be done. After DJ came into our lives my husband and I never discussed wanting another baby. Unfortunately, DJ had a very rough start to life and ended up in the Children's Hospital of Eastern Ontario. After life saving surgery, we found out that our son has a very rare genetic syndrome. So, after the emotional roller coaster ride we had just been on, we never discussed having a second.

Then, after 3 weeks of thinking I had post partum depression and then the stomach flu, we discovered we were pregnant. Not just a little bit pregnant (if there is such a thing), but 13 weeks pregnant! We were worried at first, but special testing assured us that Anderson did not have any organ/heart anomalies. We felt so blessed - 2 wonderful little boys - less than a year apart.

Since the delivery for Anderson was very traumatic on my body, the doctors recommended no more babies. Slowly, I came to terms with that...though deep down, I knew our family was not yet complete.

David and I discussed and even spoke to our doctor about the Big V. But then, before any appointment could be set up, I started having pregnancy symptoms. A pregnancy test revelled we were expecting our third baby in just over 3 years!

What a blessing and a shock! We were a bit nervous and anxious. Let me rephrase that - I was a bit nervous and David was shell-shocked!!!!!

You see, we had gotten use to having 2 children. Our joke was that we were "made" for two...

...two hands - one for each child to hold

...two shoulders - one for each child to cry or rest on

...two eyes - to keep an eye on each child

...two ears - to listen to each child

...and two of us.

Now that Madigan is here - we have no regrets. But that said, we, especially David, feels out numbered at times. Having three children is very challenging - especially when there is only 38 months between the first and the third.

There are days that I feel frustrated and over whelmed, but then I look into my heart and realize this is my calling, my blessing. Some one up there must really trust me with His/Her precious belongings if He/She sent me three to love, nurture, teach and learn from. I find strength in a loving hug; courage in a silly grin; calm in a loving glance; and beauty in every new experience or skill my children attempt.

My husband loves all three kids so much. I love watching him play with each of them - with all of them! My soccer buddies & scrapbooking pals are always impressed when I arrive sans-children and we all comment on how great it is that David "takes" all three kids. I am very lucky to have such an active, hands-on, understanding parenting partner. He is amazing: knowing when I need a break and making sure I get my own personal time. But, I know he struggles with being out numbered. My heart yearns to help him see what a wonderful father he is and to help him when he is feeling a bit frazzled or over whelmed. We make a wonderful team. A deep desire is to find a way to show David how together we can over come any challenges that these there munchkins can throw at us - now and in the many wonderful years to come.

Our family is now complete, and I am loving it!

And if it is any consolation, "they" say 3 is the new 2!!!!

No comments: