Today my precious little girl turns 9 months old. How the time has flown! Do not get me wrong, there were some days, evenings, nights and weeks that seemed to last an eternity...but all in all, the time has flown by.
It seems like just yesterday (June 27, 2006) that we discovered we would be expecting our third child in three years.
It seems like just yesterday I calmly informed my hubby that my water broke (February 6, 2007 - 6:46am).
It seems like just yesterday I help my princess for the first time (February 6, 2007 - 3:12am).
It seems like just yesterday that Madigan completed our family and allowed my heart to expand to it's intended capacity.
At the same time:
It seems like ages ago that hubby and I fretted and worried about the viability of this pregnancy and pondered all the delivery risks that seemed to quadruple this time around.
It seems like ages ago that I became unsettled over the demeanor of the ultrasound technician.
It seems like forever ago that we were told our little, unborn baby girl had a sizable tumor in her belly.
It seems like many moons ago my hubby and I were clutching hands, seated in the office of the head of the neo-natal care unit discussing the upcoming c-section and how our little unborn baby girl would be cared for after her delivery.
It seems like a life time ago that I hugged, kissed and then handed over my 2-month old baby girl to the surgeons.
It seems like forever ago that we waited and waited for word of the successful removal of the non-cancerous, dermoid cyst that hijacked and killed my little girl's left ovary and fallopian tube.
It seems like our little Girlie Girl has been with us forever...life without our Mags seems like a lifetime ago.
The nine months have flown by. With the boys, I felt very free since I had decided to not return to work outside the home. I was not on the maternity leave countdown. I empathized with my friends as they each returned to work - but I really did not understand their return-to-work anxiety. I do now! I am on that count down.
Here in Canada, we are so fortunate to have a 12 month maternity option, but...
The first three months of maternity leave was a blur. Nursing, adjusting, nursing, adapting, nursing and bonding take all your time. I blinked and three LONG months had passed. I was surprised - and a relieved to have made it!
The next three months were so much fun - lots of milestones for baby. It is a wonderful time of bonding and becoming a family. At six months I thought, "Wow, I have been on mat leave for 6 months". I was astonished that it has passed so quickly, but then I realized my 12 months of leave are now half over. YEEEK!
And now, at 9 months I am more than half-way done my maternity leave. Saying I am 3/4 done seems strange...it seems more apropos to say that I am now almost done. Only 3 months remain. I feel nervous and anxious. This time I do have a (GREAT) job to go back to, and best of all, my hours allow me to be home during the day and childcare is not required. It is a perfect arrangement...but I still lament over what little time I have left! Well, I better start living each day to the fullest, I only have 92 days left!
Dear Madigan Victoria,
Oh, how I love you. Your smile, your silly frown, your giggle and your meticulous crawl. I love your bald head, your perfect toes and your Budda-belly. You, along with your older brothers, and your wonderful father complete me. May you always know that I love you, care for you and will support you the best way I know how, through your entire life. If the last nine months are any indication, you have the strength, determination, and tenacity to conquer anything life may send your way. Take your time growing up. Savour every moment of your childhood and let yourself live, laugh and love as much as you can - today and everyday.